If you ask people to describe networking you will get a variety of responses, most often it sounds something like this, “going to events where business people exchange business cards and talk business with one another.”  While indeed that is a good description of what a lot of “networking” events look like, it is not the only way that networking takes place.  People get so hung up on the formal side of networking that they completely miss all the other opportunities to network.  I personally spend far less time at “networking events” and far more time networking in ways that I enjoy.

Recently, I was invited to be part of #Social46.  This is a group of social media minded people who have strong networks, they were asked to support the Super Bowl 2012 committee in welcoming guest and helping them out using social media.  I was honored to be asked, and took advantage of the opportunity. Many of these are people I have heard of but never met in person, some I knew and have relationships with and still others I have never met online or offline.  This is the kind of networking that I enjoy, a group of people bound together for a common cause.

It does not take long to build strong relationships with people who have a common cause because you are all working and supporting one another to achieve that cause.  For this group there was the added excitement of being able to connect the city and the visitors, and being the first city to ever fully use social media in such a large event. I have a strong affinity for many of the participants, they are my role models on Social Media, and they are so giving of their time and efforts.  These are the kind of people I want in my network, who I want to learn more about, and who I feel good about referring to others because their “Givers Gain” attitude make them so referrable.

Working with a small group of people for a common cause is often far more effective that going month after month to big “networking” events.  Take a look a the networking that you are doing, how are you breaking out of the traditional mode and finding new ways to connect and build relationships?  Share some of your ideas with us!

Flirting:  to court trifling or act amorously without any serious intentions

Flirting is a basic instinct, part of human nature. This is not surprising: if we did not initiate contact and express interest in members of the opposite sex, we would not progress to reproduction, and the human species would become extinct. According to some evolutionary psychologists, flirting may even be the foundation of civilization as we know it. (www.sirc.org)

Flirting as you can see is a natural way of interacting for men and women. It is what we do, sometimes just for fun, other times with the intention to attract. So what is the harm in flirting when we are networking? Go to any networking event and you will see flirting, both men and women. Is it a bad thing? That would depend upon what you are going to the networking events for. What are you trying to achieve? One of the  biggest complaints that women have when working with and networking with men is that they are not taken seriously.

As a woman if I want men to take me and my business seriously, then I must first take myself and my business seriously. When women are flirting, men begin to see them in a different light than the professional light they want. While these women may indeed be asked for an appointment the complaint that we here from women is that the appointment was nothing more than a pretense for a date.

Over time other women will begin to exclude the flirt from their circle of information and connections. The constant flirting can often cost the flirt the credibility she seeks build when networking. Unfortunately, men who flirt are not held to the same level of accountability by women or men.

So, ladies, if you are flirting, it could be costing you connections, information, and being taken seriously by the very men you are flirting with. Remember that business networking should be treated as business, flirting at business functions should be avoided if you are looking to create high lever business relationships.

“In this economy, developing a strong referral strategy is a fast, easy cheap way to build a strong business,” Palzewicz said. “Referrals are more important than ever because people are more careful where they buy and the words of satisfied customers, especially customers that are their friends, can be very powerful and more impactful than any other type of advertising.”

As is my habit, I was reading blogs, press releases, and other material on networking, when I ran across the above quote in a press release. I become very frustrated when I read information that is incorrect or misleading, not intentionally misleading but written by someone who really does not understand what the referral process is.  McDonald’s is fast, easy and cheap, but you cannot apply that to a solid referral strategy.

 “In this economy, developing a strong referral strategy is a fast, easy, cheap way to build a strong business.” Nothing could be further from the truth. While networking might be considered fast easy and cheap, building a referral process takes time, it is a skill that must be learned, and requires a budget of time and money. When a client comes to me and wants to develop a referral strategy they must have a developed network that we can then develop into a proper referral strategy for their business.  McDonald’s is fast, easy and cheap, but it is not the first place you want to go if you are looking for a high quality meal.  While it is nice to sometimes have low level leads from fast, easy and cheap networking, it is not the way to sustain your business.

Let’s take a look at why the words of Fast, Easy, and Cheap cannot be related to developing a referral strategy.

 Fast – A solid referral strategy is based on a relationship built on trust. Trust takes time, you have to be willing to take the time to build the trust. People are not going to refer business to someone whom they do not trust to make them look good. How long it takes someone to trust you depends, ask yourself, do you trust fast?

Easy – Once you have your systems in place for your referral strategy, it does feel pretty easy. Getting those systems in place and maintaining them is not easy, fast, or cheap. If building a strong referral strategy were easy, there would be a lot more very successful businesses generating high quality referrals. I know this is not the case by the number of businesses that hire me to help them implement a strategy and systems.

 Cheap – Another big myth. If you are going to develop a referral system you must set a budget of both time and money. It is not cheap to belong to multiple organizations, have one to one meetings over coffee, lunch and even dinner, set up and implement a system of rewarding your referral partners, pay for travel to events and meeting, and get educated. Is it cheaper than running a TV Ad over and over, yes, is it cheap, no!

Anytime you go at something with the idea that it is fast, easy and cheap, you are bound to disappointed with your outcome.  Developing a referral strategy that works takes time, money and effort, but when it starts paying off, it pays in a big way.

In this economy everyone is looking for fast, easy, and cheap ways to build business, but if you apply that concept over a long period of time you are left with less that desired results.

 Last week I posted 3 Things that Women Do Better Than Men, today it is the guys turn. Can you believe it ladies, there are things that men do better than we women. Of course you can, it is designed by nature. Men are great at doing a variety of things while women are great at others, we are different in every aspect of business and life. In this case we are going to look at 3 things that men do better at networking that women do.

 The goal is for us to learn how to network with men and leverage our networks more effectively. Women are great at building strong long term relationship. Where we are weak is taking those relationships and turning them in to business opportunities, for referrals and even sales. Here are 3 things that men do better and we can learn to do it too.

1.  They can identify business opportunities quicker than women. Men can see opportunity and they are willing to go after in much quicker. In the world of networking, men can identify where they are most likely to be able to get and give referrals with someone.

2. They are more willing to ask for what they want. Their fear of rejection is much less than a woman’s fear of rejection. They are not afraid to ask people to do things for them, and they are clear about what they want and approach people in business with that in mind.

3. Men are much better at not taking things personally, they understand that it is about the business. They can have the business deal go bad and they know it should not get in the way of their friendship.

 These are great traits for women to be able to do also. My next post will discuss how we can benefit by learning from each other. What kinds of thing have you noticed about the differences in men and women networking?

Business networking is about building relationships and who is better at building relationships than women. When it comes to networking there are a few things that women are just naturally better at then the men. There are things they can learn from us, just as there are things we can learn from them. In this blog, I am listing the 3 things that women do better than the men. The following blog will list the 3 things that men do better than women and the third in the series will discuss how we can learn from each other. So, before you men get all upset, be patient, you time to shine will be next, ladies first!

1. Women build deeper relationships with the people they meet than men do. That is not to say that men do not build relationships, they do, but they do it differently and they define it differently. This really plays out when men retire, once they are no longer working they have few close friends to do things with. Good networking is about building good relationships.

2. Women are excellent carriers of word-of-mouth. Women will sing your praises when you do a good job for them, and typically they are less likely to refer someone if they have not used or seen the quality of your work or product. When they do, no one will pass on the information better than a female.

3. Women by nature are collaborators, they build community. They will rally a group together to accomplish a goal or task. Where men are often lone wolves, women like to do things in groups. This plays very well in the business networking arena, it allows more people to win, when they are all working together.

 All of these are good traits, and each of them have a downfall. While it is important to build relationships, women often forget that they are building business relationships. Relationships that are meant to help, to be leveraged for business on both sides. We spend a lot of time building the relationships in the hope that they will do business with us, but we think that just because someone knows what we do, they will choose to use us when the need arises. That is a belief that often holds us back from creating the success in our business networking that we are looking for.

Next up: Three things that men do better than women!

I was asked recently to speak at a conference here in Indianapolis. They told me they really didn’t have money for speakers, they were a not for profit organization for medical students called, Student National Medical Association. I was reluctant,to take on the project, after all it takes a lot of time to prep for a good program even if it is only 55 minutes long. But the program was local, at the J.W. Marriott, it was only 55 minutes and it was on the basic networking skills they need to practice, so I said yes, I would do it.

I am glad that I did. These students were hungry for the knowledge. Their young heads are full of facts, numbers, and all kinds of medical information. What no one has bothered to teach them is how to build and maintain a network that will help them find a job when they leave school.

My information was basic, geared for students, but the questions and comments that the students had after the program were both heart warming and disappointing. Universities let our students down in a big way when it comes to helping them build a network that will help them find jobs.   Statistically 85% of all jobs are found thru a personal recommendation from someone in our network. That being said, our students often start in a deficit as they have no network.

When students enter the university they should be given a class on networking. From the day they start they should start the process of building their networks. Every person they meet should go into their database, the professors who teach them, the mentors who help them, the students they connect too. Every part-time job they work is an opportunity to build relationships that will help in the future.

The students on my workshop asked me over and over again, why hasn’t anyone told us this, and how can I reconnect with some people who have really helped me? I gave them tips individually on how to reach back and reconnect, but I could not answer the first question. I don’t believe that universities across the country understand the importance of or the basics of building a network. Maybe, it is time that we reach out to our universities and help the students. It is a tough economy, there are fewer jobs to be had for the graduates, they need every edge they can get, and it has to start before they are ready to graduate.

I am glad that I decided to take the speaking engagement, and I feel blessed that I got to meet such wonderful students, doing great things

I love to help people be more successful with their networking activities.  Most of us are networking because we are looking for more referrals for our business.  Unfortunately over time people come to realize that it takes more than meeting, greeting, and exchanging cards.

Here is a list of common issues that business people have around generating referrals for their business.  This is not a complete list, but does cover many of the issues.

• I spend more time networking than following up on referrals.
• I find that I give a lot of referrals to people but get very little in return.
• I don’t know the right place to networker.
• I don’t know the right time to ask a person for a referral.
• I get a lot of low level leads that do not amount to business.
• I often don’t have time to follow up on the referrals I am given.
• I tell a lot of people what I do, the they just don’t seem to understand.
• I don’t attend networking events because I really don’t know what to do when I am there.
• I feel like I have a lot of visibility but it is not leading to referrals.
• I don’t know the value of an appointment.
• I try to build a power team but no one follows through.
• Following up after a networking event often falls through the crack.
• I cannot figure out why some people will not refer business to me.
• I don’t know exactly who is in my contact sphere.
• I don’t know who I want my next customer to be.
• My database is unorganized and not sortable.
• I would rather just make friends and hope they buy from me.
• My referral partners do not participate at the same level I do.
• I don’t know how to qualify a referral for others in my network.
• When I have a one to one it becomes too social.
• When I get a referral, it often does not convert to business.
• I cannot get my fellow network members to educate me how to refer them.
• I am not sure how to educate my network.
• I am spending too much of my time with low value prospects.
• I cannot get clarity around my target market.
• My referrals are unpredictable.
• When I get a referral, I am often disappointed in the quality of it.
• I spend too much time working on my network versus in my network.
• I don’t understand the six steps of the referral process or if I am missing any of them.
• I don’t understand how to move a person into a  proactive referral relationship.
• I get some referrals from my clients but that is about it.
• I know I need more business by referral and I just don’t know where to start.
• I am confused about the role that Social Media plays in my network.
• My company has offered reward for referrals, yet get few of any quality.

Building your business by referral is Simple, but it is Not Easy.

Since time is limited, it is necessary that women make the best use of networking time. Men in general have more time to network and connect with others in the business world, so women need to leverage the time they have. Our study shows that the more time a person spends networking the more successful they are, therefore if a woman is limited by her life style on the number of hours she can network, she will also be limited in how successful she will be  at getting results from her network. Her only alternative is to find better ways to utilize the time she has. And to find groups that fit her and her families life. Predominately that has been groups that meet mid-day since morning and evenings have a tendency to be family and social time.

For most business professionals there is a great deal of time spent running from one networking event to the next, meeting more and more new people in hopes that we will sell a product or service to someone in the room. It takes a lot of time, and becomes frustrating to women when they find themselves behind the eight ball because they cannot make so many meetings. If you stop and take a look at quality networking over quantity networking you will find that as a busy mom and business owner you can have a positive result from your activities.
Networking is the activity of going out and meeting people face to face, adding new people to your Rolodex and often pitching your product or service to the people in the room or having their products and services pitched to you. This is not an effective use of the valuable time that women have,  if indeed it is our desire to create credibility and profitability.

Networking is an important activity and needs to be planned in advance,  how much time you are going to spend and what event you are going to attend. For most women being able to get our business act ivies and family act ivies on the same calendar will allow us to manage all of our options. Once we decide what events or functions we are going to attend we can then set goals for what we want to accomplish while we are there.

More effective planning will allow everyone to make good use of their time spent networking.  Look at your calendar and your contacts, and plan accordingly.

Every single day I see a new one, it seems that it has become very popular to call ones self an expert on various topics.  People with little skill or experience  can write a book or start a business  and declare themselves experts.  Most popular are;

I am a Social Media Expert – Really?  Who Says?  What makes you the expert?  People from all walks of life have decided to jump on this band wagon.  My mother, age 72 has decided that she is a social media expert.  Heck why not, she uses Facebook, and has for about 6 months, she tells all her friends how to use it,  when is the best time of day to use it, why it’s important to use it, and on and on.  Well all things considered she has as much experience as many out there calling themselves an expert.

People have decided that they can become professional speakers on the topic of Social Media, they can write books about it, blog about it, and get jobs with companies to manage their social media campaigns.  Reality is, they can because their clients are in a sea of confusion about the topic, and they cannot tell the difference between the real experts and the wanna be expert.

Next post popular I am an Expert category goes to the “Networking Expert” – Really?  Who Says?  They do of course.  People think that because they gather cards, build databases and attend events they are networking experts.  There are hundreds upon thousands of books, blogs, podcast, websites, organizations and speakers on the topic of “Networking”  most of them just repeating the same advice over and over.  Anybody can be a “Networking Expert” all they have to do is read books,  go to networking groups and regurgitate the material.

These are the two topics that are generating the most authors, speakers, and experts.  Not that most of them are really that skilled or offer up any new material, it is just more crap in the cesspool of crap.

Don’t get me wrong there are experts out there, those who have really created a name for themselves, who are doing the work and education it takes to be considered an expert, in his book   “Outliers” Gladwell  put forth some conventional wisdom; namely that takes 10,000 hours to become an expert in anything, and I question that.

Before you hire one of these experts there are some things you might want to ask them,  some hard questions.  Make them show you some testimonials, a client list and ask them, what makes them an expert.   If their prices seem really cheap, that can be a clue, they are not making money!  Where did they get their expertise?  How many hours have they invested in becoming an expert?  Make them show you their success!  There are really not that many experts out there, and the ones who are calling themselves that, don’t have the credentials to back it up, and have very little in the way of new information and concepts.

Use caution when hiring experts in these fields, ask hard questions, there are experts out there, people who are making a living doing it, who have invested the hours, the time and they develop new successful ways of doing things.

Remember, anyone with a book can call themselves and expert, and self publishing has created a lot of experts!

How many clients do you have who have hired you based on your expertise?

In this post we look at the third step of the referral process. Without step three there is no referral, you cannot pass a referral if you cannot identify a persons need. In step three, you teach your network members how to identify the need for your product or services.   Few people ever teach this part of the process to their network members. They assume that if they pass enough knowledge about what they do and how they do it, people will pass them referrals.  If you stop at steps one and two you will only receive leads or reactive referrals.  While reactive referrals are good, they cannot be predicted and depend on.  Reactive referrals required a lot of “If’s” for them to happen.

If someone calls me and ask me who I know that can fix their car, and if I can remember to pass your information on, and if they pick up the phone and call you, then you get business.  Companies pay a lot of money to develop top of mind thinking for just this kind of business. Companies like Nike, Coke and Budwiser.  Word of mouth works, it brings this kind of business in and you can make a living doing it.   But, it will not get you proactive, predictable, high value referred prospects.  For that to happen your network must understand how to identify need on your behalf.   What questions can they ask their clients when they are talking to them, what might be happening in their lives that will trigger your network to ask the questions.  What pain do fix for your customers and how will you teach that to your network members?

The more you teach your network the higher the quality referrals you will receive from them.