Referrals are the holy grail of the business community. Every business wants them, every business person is out networking in hopes of getting referred prospects for their business. Referrals come in different shades, just like the color red. The higher you can move the quality of the referral the less time you will need to spend it the sales process. Good referrals do not come quickly or easily. People must trust you if they are going to put their reputation on the line for you. After all, when you are being referred you are in essences borrowing that persons reputation and credibility.

If you want to move the quality of the referrals you get to a higher level here are 3 steps you can begin to implement with your network.

Build a deeper relationship with the person you are networking with. People want to do business with people they know, like and trust. Developing relationships built on trust takes time. Spend time finding out about what your partners are trying to accomplish, and help them accomplish it.

1. Know exactly how you want your network to refer you, then teach them how to do it. The more time that you spend training and being trained by your referral partners the better results you will get from them and they will get from you. If you want a face to face introdution then you must train your referral partners how to set that up for you.
2. Know who you want to be connected to. If you are telling your network that you want to be connected to anyone who, or everyone is a good connection then you are dropping the ball. Your network members want to help you but you have to make it easy for them.

Getting good referrals from your network requires work on your part, it requires time invested in your network, and it requires time to train your network. The more time you invest in the development of your network the more valuable the referrals will be when you get them.

I am writing a book with two friends, Frank DeRaffele Jr and Dr. Ivan Misner,  based on a 12,000 person survey. Many people left comments about networking, things they liked, were challenged by, or just wanted us to know. One of the most frequent comments that we have received is on the “Handshake”.

These comments show clearly that how you shake hands leaves an impact on your ability to communicate or get others to communicate with you. Just as how you appear has an impact, so to does your handshake.  Unfortunately, I believe that there is little attention paid to the handshake and the proper way to do it.  Here are a few of the comments that we received:

I communicate easier when I am greeted with a firm handshake from a woman rather than a dainty or limp handshake…limp means she has no idea what she is talking about. and cares even less about shaking your hand

You can’t judge a book by its cover (!) but you can judge strength of character & business development potential from a handshake.

A strong handshake indicates to me a no nonsense individual, straight to the point, lets get on with the business….and I have to say for the most part that is very true.

There is no doubt from my experience, that those with whom strong business links have been forged, have been with the owners of the firm handshake. Maybe the sub-conscious takes over. It is strange but it is true.

Understanding the etiquette of a proper handshake is key to your networking success as you can see above. Practice your handshake with those who will give you solid feedback.  Here is a very good article on the steps to developing a solid handshake.  Don’t let your handshake leave a bad impression.

One of the first things I work with my clients on is the proper use of “Networking”, as well as the best ways to use their time and energy when they are networking. Over the last 15 years, I have watched people spend many hours networking. As a matter of fact I was one of those people. It is exactly how I got the moniker, “Queen of Networking”. One day, my mentor asked me to begin to track all my time. Time that I spent networking, time I spent answering the phone, emails, working on projects, surfing the net, and so on. This was an eye opening experience.   I found that most of the stuff I was doing was not having a positive impact on my business bottom line.

60% of all of my activities in a given week were around networking. Going to the events, following up with every single card that I collected, staying in contact via email and phone calls, screening and fielding emails and phone calls from people who met me while networking, signing up for other events, driving to events, preparing for the events and so forth and so on. You get the picture; I was a very busy lady. Busy does not equal profitable.

Once we had a clear understanding about where my time was going, it was now time to look at how much of that time was actually having a positive impact on my business bottom line. What became painfully clear is while 60% of my time was spent, adding people to my database, and networking, networking, networking, 80% of my income was coming from 10-12 people, 200 where people whom I knew, supported and referred and the other 3000 names and contacts in my database were just that – names and unfulfilled relationships.

The most important feedback that my mentor gave me was simply this statement; “Imagine what your business would look like if you spent 60% of your time nurturing the 10-12 people who are helping to grow your business.” It was a statement that would keep me up at night.

Today you will not find me at every event and when I attend a networking event, I do so very strategically. I have a goal in mind, a purpose to be fulfilled and connections to make for at least one of those 12 people who were helping me to build my business. When I network for others, my own business grows with very little effort on my part. I have the opportunity to see “Givers Gain” in action.   Before you go to your next networking event ask yourself the following questions:

• Where is most of my business coming from?
• Which organizations are producing results for my business?
• Who passes me the most business?
• What are my goals for the event?
• Who do I need to help?
• How can my networking activities help my referral sources?
• What is my networking budget in both time and money?

Every year for the last 5 years I have set a goal to walk the Indianapolis Mini Marathon. Every year that goal went unmet. This year, it is no longer an unaccomplished goal. Saturday May 8th I walked the 13.1 miles in the largest mini marathon, with 37,000 other people.

What made this year different than the other 4 years. Simple really, I implemented the same 5 strategies that I tell my Referrals for Life students to implement when building their referral system.

1. Support - I found a group of other people who wanted to achieve the same goal that I did. Having a team of people to support you and cheer you on makes a big difference in your energy, you motivation and your desire to achieve. When you are building your business by referral, you need a strong network that will support you in your endeavors. You cannot build a network of people who will refer you all alone, it is a person to person activity.

2. Education – I learned more about participating in a marathon. I learned about shoes and why they are important, how to eat right, what kind of clothing to wear in the different kinds of weather. As business owners it is important that we always seek out more education, allowing us to stay sharp and be able to grow our businesses and ourselves. No one is born knowing how to network or how to build a strong network. Get educated, learn the art of networking and the science of referrals. The more education you get the more successful you are. Learn more to earn more.

3. Accountability – Having a system of accountability was key to my training. When you add accountability to your learning you accomplish so much more. Accountability breeds success. If you and your network are not accountable to each other you will soon lose momentum. Hold each other accountable for greater results.

4. Training – Consistent use of the educational material breeds huge amounts of success. The training allows you to practice what you have learned until you are good at it. Having the ability to practice over and over again allows you to develop the networking and referral muscles. You do not want to practice on your referral or prospects.

5. Coaching - Above all else this is the one thing that set this year apart from all other years. Having a coach to guide, educate, support, and implement accountability made the biggest difference in may ability to complete the Mini Marathon. Having him tell me when my gait was wrong or if my tempo was off was invaluable and made the difference in my wanting to do the marathon and completing the marathon. Education without coaching is entertainment. Your Coach can tell you what you are doing wrong, how to do something differently or more effectively. If you are trying to build a business by referral you need to find yourself a qualified referral trainer – coach. You will be surprised by your results.

Creating a system that generates referrals for your business is like training for a marathon, it is simple, but it is not easy!

Welcome Guest Blogger - Tiffany Kellog, she is a friend, fellow Referral Institute Instructor and fellow Blogger.

Have you ever been at a networking event, and you were scoping out nametags, and you saw a name tag that had both a name and an industry. You think to yourself, I know what _______ does… for example, perhaps you see a florist, and you think that you know what a florist does… so why do you need to ask more? Perhaps you see a financial planner at a networking event… do you know what they do? (And are you now, while you are reading this, thinking I know what a financial planner does?)

Often times, by listing your profession on your name tag, you are painting yourself into a box, and it’s not always the one you want to be put in! The disadvantage of listing your industry on your name tag is that you are putting yourself into a category which will allow the people you meet to decide, before speaking to you, exactly what you do and who you are… and if they already have the answers to those questions, why continue on?

Instead of putting your professional category on the name tag, why not put something on your nametag that will have them asking you multiple questions about your business? The advantage is that you get to tell them EXACTLY what you do, and not have them fit you into their preconceived notion of your profession.

So, when you are at your next networking event (or ordering your next set of name tags), what will you be writing to describe what you do?

Having problems with filling in that blank? I recommend the Certified Networker Program, Module 1 & 9, to help come up with your Emotional Based Marketing Message and ideas on what you should put on your name tag.

Have you ever ask a referral partner to introduce you to a contact they have only to be put off or not introduced at all? Did you wonder why? You might be surprised to know, that your referral partner did not have the same level credibility as the level referral you were asking for.

I once had a referral partner who boasted a very large database, we decided to sit down and do a little identifying out of each other’s databases. He had great contacts in his database but when I began to rate the level of referral I was looking for against the level of relationship he had with the contact, there was great disparity.

He quickly realized that his network was wide, but not very deep and he had some work to do to build higher levels of credibility with some of the people in his database. You see he spent most of his time networking, very little time working his network. Once, he had done some of that work, he became a much better referral partner.

Having a very wide network that is only an inch deep does not make you a solid referral partner. If you spend time, working your network instead of being out there networking you will create a much deeper network. One that will produce results for both you and your referral partners.

It’s almost that time of year again, the grass is greening, the temperature is climbing and my golf clubs are calling. I have cleaned up my clubs, got all the new balls I will need for the first game and bought my new shoes. I am ready to go.

Every year thousands of people hit the golf courses for fun and business. There more networking done on the golf course as there is during chamber meetings.. When done right it is a great place to build strong referral relationships with your networking friends. After all, you have an extended amount of time with one to four people.

There are a few rules that you might want to be aware of when you hit the course with your referral sources.

1. Leave your cell phone in the car.

2. Use your time building relationships; don’t try to strong arm a deal.

3. Know the rules and etiquette of the game.

4. Don’t over indulge in the booze, this will not build credibility with your referral sources.

5. Don’t lose your temper on the course.

6. No cheating on the scorecard, remember you are trying to build trust.

7. Off colored language, whining or making excuses on the course are not in your best interest.

8. Avoid religious or political conversations.

9. Arrive early to get organized and practice.

10. Dress appropriately in attire that will take you from the links to the clubhouse. Denims, sleeveless shirts and short shorts are not acceptable

Plan strategically who you are playing with; have your best referral source bring someone you really want to meet, and you bring that person your referral source really wants to build a strong relationship

Most of all, enjoy the day.

I have been reading and working through Jack Canfields book, “The Success Principals“.  I mentor a couple of people and we hae decided to work this book together, allowing us to hold each other accountable to actually implementing the principals in the book.  So we have had a lot of conversation about Responsibility and how responsibility shows up for each of us.

As I have worked through this first section of the book I have done a lot of thinking about all the ways that we do and do not take responsibility and how that applies to the many areas of our lives.  As a person who teaches  business owners and sales professionals systems for generating top level referred prospects for their businesses I look at how responsibility applies to that process.

In his book Jack talks about taking 100% Responsibility and giving up excuses.  So, let me ask, do you take 100% Responsibility for the results that your network produces?  Most of us will say yes, but I know taht is not ture.  I hear over and over again the following statement, “Oh I was a member of that organization or tried that program and “It” did not work for me”  Who has the responsibility in that statement?  The very moment that you use that staement, you have given up all responsibility.  Once you give up responsibility you have given up any and all opportunity to change the results.

Building your business by referrals takes a system, networking by itself is only one tool used to develop referrals, and it is your responsibility to learn to use those tools to their full potential.  There is a lot of resposibilite that comes with networking and referrals such as:

• You are responsible for making your referral partners look good.  Even if that means you walk away from the deal.
• You are responsible for giving to your network if you expect them to give to you.
• You are responsible for learning how your referral partner want to be referred
• You are responsible for learning whom they want to be referred
• You are responsible for teaching them the same about you
• You are responsible for keeping your network updated on the referrals that you have received from them
• You are responsible for tracking and rewarding your network for their help

If you network is not working and your referral partners are not referring then it is time for you to take 100% Responsibility for it and stop making excuses.

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Jim Rohn

If we are going to be the best that we can be in this life, then it is important that you surround yourself with others who are striving to be the best that they can be. When you are developing referral partners this is also very important.

The relationship between referral partners becomes very close, when the relationship is working well you are meeting and developing referral strategies, sending your best customers to one another and building each others reputation. You are helping each other to succeed.

Ask yourself these 4 questions when you are looking for good referral partners.

* Do they have a positive and supportive attitude.
* Do they have a giving attitude
* Are they open to learning and growing
* Do they support you and your vision

Surround yourself with people who are going where you want to go. When you have people on the path with you it makes the journey so much easier.

I went out into my backyard today to look at my crop of Indiana Tomatoes.  I was quite disappointed to find that they still have not ripened.  The weather has been very cool this year and that means the tomatoes ripen more slowly.    I am losing my patience because I want vine ripe tomatoes NOW!

Ironically,  I came into my office to open an email from one of our newest clients.  He and I are meeting for some one to one coaching around his DISC profile, he is a high D and likes results, NOW.   In his email he stated “Please send me the roster of current and past participants, so that I may have 2 referral partners identified by the time we meet.” Oh if it were only that easy!

Unfortunately,  the key to developing strong strategic relationships with a referral partner is patience.  Like my tomato plants there is more  involved than just sticking the plant in the ground and telling it to produce.   Your referral network must be nurtured, tended to, and supported.

Here are four keys to developing a strong referral network and growing good tomatoes

1. Identify the right kind of person to build the relationship with.  Just as choosing  the right kind of tomato plant is important,  you need to know what kind of referral relationship you want.  You can have contact sphere relationships that will yield lots of little incidental leads that can keep you very busy, kind of like the little cherry tomato plant that will give you bowls full of tomatoes quickly, or you can have a full fledged referral partnership that will yield larger, proactive,  high value referrals.  Similar to the the Big Boy tomato plant.  They take longer to grow, but well worth the wait.

2. Understand that time and consistent nurturing is required.  You can’t  just throw the plant in the ground and expect tomatoes to spring forth.  The same holds true for your referral relationships.  The relationship has to be built on a foundation of trust, understanding, collaboration and educations.

3. There has to be give and take in the process.  The tomato plant needs care, water, and plant food in return you get juicy red ripe tomatoes for all of your efforts.  When you give to your referral network they will in return give to you, if you consistently take with out giving eventually your network will wither and little or no fruit will be provided.

4. Diversity is important, this year I planted one kind of tomato, so of course I am still waiting.  If you plant a variety of tomatoes; plant some cherry tomatoes who will yield great flavor quickly,  as well as the slow growing variety that give your the bigger more flavorful fruit later in the year.  Your referral network can be built with a variety of relationships.  Those who will give you leads to follow up on while you are waiting for those that will give you the quality of referrals that will allow you to work smarter not harder.    Those little tomatoes will keep you fed until the big ones are ready!

Over time and with the right work, you can have  consistent quality referrals coming into your pipeline from a well nurtured network.  Remember, like the tomato plant, it takes time and work before you realize the fruit of your labor.  Be patient and don’t try to rush the process!