One of the first things I work with my clients on is the proper use of “Networking”, as well as the best ways to use their time and energy when they are networking. Over the last 15 years, I have watched people spend many hours networking. As a matter of fact I was one of those people. It is exactly how I got the moniker, “Queen of Networking”. One day, my mentor asked me to begin to track all my time. Time that I spent networking, time I spent answering the phone, emails, working on projects, surfing the net, and so on. This was an eye opening experience.   I found that most of the stuff I was doing was not having a positive impact on my business bottom line.

60% of all of my activities in a given week were around networking. Going to the events, following up with every single card that I collected, staying in contact via email and phone calls, screening and fielding emails and phone calls from people who met me while networking, signing up for other events, driving to events, preparing for the events and so forth and so on. You get the picture; I was a very busy lady. Busy does not equal profitable.

Once we had a clear understanding about where my time was going, it was now time to look at how much of that time was actually having a positive impact on my business bottom line. What became painfully clear is while 60% of my time was spent, adding people to my database, and networking, networking, networking, 80% of my income was coming from 10-12 people, 200 where people whom I knew, supported and referred and the other 3000 names and contacts in my database were just that – names and unfulfilled relationships.

The most important feedback that my mentor gave me was simply this statement; “Imagine what your business would look like if you spent 60% of your time nurturing the 10-12 people who are helping to grow your business.” It was a statement that would keep me up at night.

Today you will not find me at every event and when I attend a networking event, I do so very strategically. I have a goal in mind, a purpose to be fulfilled and connections to make for at least one of those 12 people who were helping me to build my business. When I network for others, my own business grows with very little effort on my part. I have the opportunity to see “Givers Gain” in action.   Before you go to your next networking event ask yourself the following questions:

• Where is most of my business coming from?
• Which organizations are producing results for my business?
• Who passes me the most business?
• What are my goals for the event?
• Who do I need to help?
• How can my networking activities help my referral sources?
• What is my networking budget in both time and money?

I have been reading and working through Jack Canfields book, “The Success Principals“.  I mentor a couple of people and we hae decided to work this book together, allowing us to hold each other accountable to actually implementing the principals in the book.  So we have had a lot of conversation about Responsibility and how responsibility shows up for each of us.

As I have worked through this first section of the book I have done a lot of thinking about all the ways that we do and do not take responsibility and how that applies to the many areas of our lives.  As a person who teaches  business owners and sales professionals systems for generating top level referred prospects for their businesses I look at how responsibility applies to that process.

In his book Jack talks about taking 100% Responsibility and giving up excuses.  So, let me ask, do you take 100% Responsibility for the results that your network produces?  Most of us will say yes, but I know taht is not ture.  I hear over and over again the following statement, “Oh I was a member of that organization or tried that program and “It” did not work for me”  Who has the responsibility in that statement?  The very moment that you use that staement, you have given up all responsibility.  Once you give up responsibility you have given up any and all opportunity to change the results.

Building your business by referrals takes a system, networking by itself is only one tool used to develop referrals, and it is your responsibility to learn to use those tools to their full potential.  There is a lot of resposibilite that comes with networking and referrals such as:

• You are responsible for making your referral partners look good.  Even if that means you walk away from the deal.
• You are responsible for giving to your network if you expect them to give to you.
• You are responsible for learning how your referral partner want to be referred
• You are responsible for learning whom they want to be referred
• You are responsible for teaching them the same about you
• You are responsible for keeping your network updated on the referrals that you have received from them
• You are responsible for tracking and rewarding your network for their help

If you network is not working and your referral partners are not referring then it is time for you to take 100% Responsibility for it and stop making excuses.

I am in a stage of my life and business were I get to enjoy the fruits of my hard work. Business is good and I am enjoying my life. As I have grown professionally, personally and spiritually I have learned that my life is about the relationships I build and the contribution that I make in others lives. I am often asked what my secret is and I say over and over again, it is the way that I have designed my life.

Because I believe that it is important for each of us to stop, look behind us , put out our hand and help someone else. To Mentor another is one of the highest forms of Givers Gain. We give of our time, our knowledge and our support to someone else for the sheer purpose of giving back to another. Currently, I mentor 3 young people, Ryan, Tiffany and Brandon. Each are young entrepreneurs, looking for guidance, help in living their lives and growing their businesses.

Ryan is a young man who is very giving and bright. He has developed software and is working on finding investors. He is the guardian for his nephews, has overcome a major health issue caused by an accident and has a positive and supportive attitude.

Tiffany is a young woman who has a passion for history, for life and for giving and helping others. Her energy is contagious and willingness to learn is inspiring.

Brandon is a bright young man who exudes talent and energy.  He just needs direction and focus. His willingness to learn and a desire to improve both himself and his life makes Brandon is a joy to mentor.

It was never my intention to be a mentor but I find that people show up whom I am called to help. In my life there have been people who have helped me create success in my life and business. They were willing to reach back, put out a hand and help me as I was coming up the path. People who helped me professionally in my business, people who helped spiritually, and those who gave me help in my day to day life. I believe that as business professionals and human beings we are called to help others who are trying to achieve in life what we have achieved.

How do you find someone to mentor? I have never gone looking for someone to mentor. Each of the young people I mentor showed up in my life. If you heart and mind is open to the possibility of helping others, those people will show up in your life.

You will find that as you mentor others your life is blessed and enriched in ways that you never thought possible. Be open to the possibility and the protegees will show up.

In many sales-oriented networking books and course, people are taught that networking is a selling tool and part of that lesson is what’s known as the Three Foot Rule: “Anyone within three feet of you is an opportunity to make a sale.”

We feel that not only is this bad advice for the networker, one that seriously decreases the chance for quality connection (many “3-Footers” mysteriously find themselves unable to get within three feet of anyone in a very short period of time), but that it also creates a negative feeling to the whole concept of networking in the minds of others.

As a result, people begin to avoid any event or activity labeled “networking” because they neither wish to participate in this hard-sell technique, nor do they wish to be exposed to it, especially in a concentrated form, in doing so we all lose out on valuable opportunities for service, connection and growth.

So, in the true spirit of connection-based networking (adding value to interactions in order to create and strengthen our connections with others), we hereby present our own Three Foot Rule, and hope you’ll join us in finding ways to make it our mission for the future of networking:

“Every person within three feet of you is an opportunity to serve.”   Dr. Ivan R Misner

I have spent years networking with both men and women.  In that time I have noticed a lot of difference between how the two sexes network.  I have come to realize that Women  are really very natural networkers.

Building a strong network requires that you nurture the relationships that you have developed.  Women are very good at nurturing, they stop to do those little things that make others feel special.  They remember birthdays, they send cards, the give referrals and connections to others, and they volunteer to help whenever possible.

Women tend to be good listeners,  one of the most important traits of good networkers.  So they often hear the needs of others and seek to connect them to people who can fill those needs.  Acting as a matchmaker between the two.

Women understand and operate under the philosophy of givers gain naturally. They understand the old adage that it is better to give than to receive.  They are quick to give to others, they are quick to help, they are more than willing to introduce two people and help them to connect.

If you want to have a strong referral source in your network, ask a woman, she’s a natural.