Women business owners have reason to feel good. According to the survey, in the most recent 10-year period, the number of women-owned businesses in the U.S. grew by 44 percent (twice as fast as men-owned firms) and, women-owned firms added 500,000 new jobs.

Women are growing business twice as fast as men, they are employing thousands of people.  It is crazy for men to neglect his market when they are hitting the networking circuit.  It is not that men do not network with women they just don’t do it well.  Not that they really don’t want to and not that they don’t try, there are just little things that cause the connections to go south.

Here are 3 things that men can do to make their chances of connecting with women better.

1. When opening a conversation with a woman, don’t go straight to business.  Ask them to tell you something about themselves.  Women are looking for ways to connect, some common ground that will allow for a relational conversation.
2. Listen to the women that you meet at networking event. Yes women talk more than men, they have deeper conversations that men do often sharing a great deal of information in a very storytelling way.  Men can learn a great deal by asking questions and just listening.
3. Never under estimate how serious a woman takes her business. Just because she may be selling a product or a service that seems soft and fluff, like cosmetics, clothing, child care or any other personal service, does not mean she does not take her business as serious as any man may take his.

Women are creating business, they have a need for services, they know other women who need products and services but they are not going to share that information with someone who they do not have a trusting relationship with.  Building those relationships will take time and work, but if you are not willing to invest both, men and women can connect and refer to one another very successfully.

Business networking is about building relationships and who is better at building relationships than women. When it comes to networking there are a few things that women are just naturally better at then the men. There are things they can learn from us, just as there are things we can learn from them. In this blog, I am listing the 3 things that women do better than the men. The following blog will list the 3 things that men do better than women and the third in the series will discuss how we can learn from each other. So, before you men get all upset, be patient, you time to shine will be next, ladies first!

1. Women build deeper relationships with the people they meet than men do. That is not to say that men do not build relationships, they do, but they do it differently and they define it differently. This really plays out when men retire, once they are no longer working they have few close friends to do things with. Good networking is about building good relationships.

2. Women are excellent carriers of word-of-mouth. Women will sing your praises when you do a good job for them, and typically they are less likely to refer someone if they have not used or seen the quality of your work or product. When they do, no one will pass on the information better than a female.

3. Women by nature are collaborators, they build community. They will rally a group together to accomplish a goal or task. Where men are often lone wolves, women like to do things in groups. This plays very well in the business networking arena, it allows more people to win, when they are all working together.

 All of these are good traits, and each of them have a downfall. While it is important to build relationships, women often forget that they are building business relationships. Relationships that are meant to help, to be leveraged for business on both sides. We spend a lot of time building the relationships in the hope that they will do business with us, but we think that just because someone knows what we do, they will choose to use us when the need arises. That is a belief that often holds us back from creating the success in our business networking that we are looking for.

Next up: Three things that men do better than women!

How are you making deposits into your referral sources relationship bank account? Nurturing the relationships that you are developing takes time and effort; relationships do not spring up over night. They must be nurtured and cared for. There are many things that you can do to help move your relationships to a higher level.

Collaboration is an excellent way to build trust and support for one another. Collaborating creates a reliable and committed source of information, support, and referrals and helps you achieve your goals more easily and quickly.

Here is a list of things you can collaborate on that supports each person.

1. Write a newsletter. Each person can write an article with their by lines. This is a great way to support one another using collaboration and makes the work of a newsletter much easier.

2. Put together a seminar or training event. Real Estate Agents and Mortgage Brokers often do seminars for first time homebuyers together.

3. Co-host a social event that brings together the clients and contacts of both of the collaborative partners. Golf outings, parties, and many other types of events are good for this tactic.

4. Collaborate on a Fundraising event that supports a common charity.

Here are some important steps to remember if you are going to collaborate;

• Decide on what kinds of resources you need to obtain – information, support, or referrals
• Meet to discuss the type of partnership, your needs and resources, and their needs and resources.
• Frame an informal agreement on how the partnership will work – what resources you will share, how you will share them, and for how long.
• Make sure that both parties are equally committed to the work and the outcome of the project.

Done correctly collaboration is a powerful way to support one another, grow the relationship and make major deposits in the relationship bank account.

I did a presentation today for the Indianapolis Chamber of Commerce, Business Growth Series.   I was asked the following question, How do you get connected to the decision maker of a company?

A good question and one that many people ask. The answer is simple, but it is not easy. Here is the answer for all of you who want to know the simple answer;   Ask you network to connect you.  There I told you it was simple, just ask.

Ah, but I also said, it was not easy.  Here is the rest of the answer.   There is a lot of work that must go into your network prior to asking and getting the connections.

1. You must develop your network – Too many business people spend all their time building these huge databases of people, constantly adding to it. They have very wide networks, but not very deep. Stop adding people to your network, take the time to identify the people in your network whom you need to really develop a relationship with. Go into your network and start working on building relationships.  See who is already referring you, find your key sources and connectors.  Spend time working in your network, develop the people you already know versus adding more people to the network.

2. Identify your key connectors. Who are they? In every network of people there are key connectors who will be able to connect you to a multitude of people you would not otherwise have the opportunity to meet. Build deeper relationships with your key connectors.

3.  Know who you want to be connected to.  This means you need to do a little homework and find out who this contact is you are after.  To often I hear “I want an introduction to the head of Marketing for the XYZ company.”    It would be more effective when asked this way:  ”I am looking for a personal introduction to David Jones, of the XYZ Company.”  Now your network knows who you want to be connected to and how you want to be connected.  They can easily look in their database and see if they know that person.   Most networkers never do the home work to identify who they want to know.

One of the first things I work with my clients on is the proper use of “Networking”, as well as the best ways to use their time and energy when they are networking. Over the last 15 years, I have watched people spend many hours networking. As a matter of fact I was one of those people. It is exactly how I got the moniker, “Queen of Networking”. One day, my mentor asked me to begin to track all my time. Time that I spent networking, time I spent answering the phone, emails, working on projects, surfing the net, and so on. This was an eye opening experience.   I found that most of the stuff I was doing was not having a positive impact on my business bottom line.

60% of all of my activities in a given week were around networking. Going to the events, following up with every single card that I collected, staying in contact via email and phone calls, screening and fielding emails and phone calls from people who met me while networking, signing up for other events, driving to events, preparing for the events and so forth and so on. You get the picture; I was a very busy lady. Busy does not equal profitable.

Once we had a clear understanding about where my time was going, it was now time to look at how much of that time was actually having a positive impact on my business bottom line. What became painfully clear is while 60% of my time was spent, adding people to my database, and networking, networking, networking, 80% of my income was coming from 10-12 people, 200 where people whom I knew, supported and referred and the other 3000 names and contacts in my database were just that – names and unfulfilled relationships.

The most important feedback that my mentor gave me was simply this statement; “Imagine what your business would look like if you spent 60% of your time nurturing the 10-12 people who are helping to grow your business.” It was a statement that would keep me up at night.

Today you will not find me at every event and when I attend a networking event, I do so very strategically. I have a goal in mind, a purpose to be fulfilled and connections to make for at least one of those 12 people who were helping me to build my business. When I network for others, my own business grows with very little effort on my part. I have the opportunity to see “Givers Gain” in action.   Before you go to your next networking event ask yourself the following questions:

• Where is most of my business coming from?
• Which organizations are producing results for my business?
• Who passes me the most business?
• What are my goals for the event?
• Who do I need to help?
• How can my networking activities help my referral sources?
• What is my networking budget in both time and money?

I teach a program called Referral Dynamic, it is an amazing program, and I love the results that our participants achieve as a result of this program.  One of the topics that we have a very spirited conversation around is competitors.  You see it’s my belief that there are no competitors, just opportunities for collaboration.

Here is a note that one of our students sent us about his experience with competitors after our discussion:

“When I was taking the Referral Dynamics class Denise, our instructor, suggested that I consider working with a company whom I considered a major competitor.  I told her that would be crazy since they were paid to do what I do.  One afternoon I called an old friend of mine who happens to be this company’s top sales person.  I explained to her what I wanted, and asked her if there was any opportunity for us to work together.  To my total surprise, she went on to tell me that there was more than just an opportunity, there was in fact every reason for us to work together.  I turns out, when her company sold a program, they then turned it over to an advisor to manage.  Today, this has become a very profitable relationship for my company.  What I once considered a competitor is now one of my top referring partners.

The moral of the story, “Don’t assume that you know everything that your competitor does or how they do it.”

• Do you know who your competitors are?
• How do you compete?
• Who is their target market?
• How aer you alike?
• How are you different?
• What is their strength?
• What is their weakness?
• Do you know their price points?
• Who are their top sales people?
• Where might there be an opportunity for collaboration?

You might find that whom you thought was a competitor is truly an opportunity.  Spend the time to do the work, you may be very happy that you did.

For years many of the Chambers of Commerce have considered BNI their competitor and in Indiana many people believed that Rainmakers and BNI were competitors, yesterday with Rave reviews from vendors, attendees, and speakers alike that myth has been busted.

Yesterday, Feb 5th, 2009 was the very First Int’l Networking Week Event in Indianapolis.  BNI, Rainmakers, Rainmaker University and Referral Institute went together to plan this event and attract other networking organizations to Collaborate with us.

The team of Lorraine Ball, Tony Sandlin, Hazel Walker and Nikki Lewallen whipped this event together like pros recruiting other organizations and getting people in the door. This team put the event together in less than six weeks bring groups together from all over the state.

International Networking Week proves that GIVERS GAIN works not only  individually but with organizations as well.  We had representatives from Confluence, Rainmakers, The Lawrence Chamber, The Bloomington Chamber, Toastmaster, Business Ownership Initiative, BPE and many more.  When organizations compete less and collaborate more the MEMBERS WIN!!!!

Next year the  event will double in size and in the years to come it will continue to grow and collaborate with even more organizations until it becomes the best Networking Event in the State of Indiana.