Where does mentoring play a role for women?  When I needed a mentor, I could not find a female mentor who knew much at all about networking and growing my business by word of mouth.

I had to go to a male mentor which was great from the business point of view, but there was no one who could help me with how women go about connecting effectively.  I believe that we are called to reach back and help those coming up behind us.  Put our hand out and offer to show them the path that we have blazed.  When I asked Sandra Yancy, the founder of E-Women how women could become better at networking and connecting, she  stated that she believes that mentoring is a key component to women being more successful and she would like to brand the word “Femtor”  females mentoring other females.  While I am not sure if we need to add a new word to the english dictionary I am a firm believer in mentoring and women should be mentoring other women, I believe that we have to ask for mentors.  Our study shows that those people who said they used mentors and coaches were also the people who showed the most success in their networking and referrals.

Females often ask me how they find a mentor for themselves and here is the advice that I give them;  Ask.  Simply find someone whom you want to learn from, someone you hold in esteem and ask then if they would consider mentoring you. Let them know why you chose to ask them and what you want to learn from them.  If you never ask, you never have the opportunity to learn from great women all around you.  Most women are very open to mentoring.  Unfortunately most women are reluctant to ask, case in point, I am currently mentoring 3 men.  All three of the gentlemen came to me, ask me if I would be open to helping them via a mentoring process, told my why they wanted me to help them and have all followed up.  Not one woman has asked me even though I speak to women and women’s organizations consistently.

I remember sitting in a room listening to a group of very successful local women.  When it was time to ask questions I wanted to know if they were mentoring other women to be successful. Each woman told a story about one or two women they had helped.  One panelist was a business owner and had successfully opened several locations, when it was her turn to answer she stated that she mentored her daughter.  I remember being struck by that, as mothers are we not always the role model for our daughters?  Of course, I am her role model, but should we not be teaching them just as fathers teach their sons, how to connect and be successful at networking, shouldn’t we be teaching our daughters how to go out and find other mentors?   Shouldn’t we as women be reaching beyond our own family members and helping our employee’s, co-workers, or fellow business owners be successful at connecting and networking?

I would challenge every woman that we each have something of value to offer to those following behind us, and we are all very busy with husbands, children, social and professional lives, but we should always be open to mentoring someone who is looking for a helping hand.  It is what we are the very best at after all!

Men insult each other, but they don’t mean it, Women compliment each other and they don’t mean it either. I found that quote on my Facebook wall one day and I thought, wow, how profoundly true that statement really is. The last few weeks I have been thinking about how women treat each other, the back biting, gossiping, undermining way that we treat each other has a long term profound affect upon women as a whole and maintains a man’s view of women in the work place and in business.

 Women are often guilty of Crab mentality, and it is not just a corporate phenomenon. I see this mentality happen everyday with women business owners and on more than a few occasions I have even been the victim of the ladies in the crab pot. In all likelihood I have even been a participant in the crab pot.  Just as one woman rises to the top, all the rest of the women reach up and pull her back down.

 Women are often the first to criticize and sabotage one another. When one female business owner has a little success, others will pull her down, withhold connections, referrals and even ignore her. Recently after looking at a list of female entrepreneurs who had won awards for achievement, other women were being petty and unkind about the winners. With comments like “She must have nominated herself” “She is always in it for the glory” “She gets everything like she is the only female business owner out here” and “There are others who are so much more deserving that her.” Susan Tardanico had this to say in Forbes Magazine,  the same behaviors that wound and traumatize us as girls are alive and well in the workplace, undermining our career success.

 We worry that one women business owner is going to get further a head in her business than we are, so we don’t choose her to do our business with, we don’t give quality referrals to her so she can grow her business with our connections, we don’t build her up, talk her up, we don’t help her climb that ladder of success.  Worse yet, when she does succeed we will pay lip service to her success, but we will not show up to celebrate with her and we will not give her the credit for hard work to get where she is, we will just compare ourselves to her, find ourselves lacking and talk about how lucky she is.

If we are going to evolve as a gender, if we want to be taken seriously, if we are going to change the world,  then we all have to step into the space of change.

Correct yourself first – if you hear a fellow women business owner being demeaned or negatively talked about, don’t participate. Set the example and refuse to participate, leave the conversation. When we participate in running down another woman we do damage to ourselves and all women. We keep the stereotype alive.

Speak up – take a stand for other women. When you stand by and allow others to ruin the reputation or spread gossip, it is the same as participating in it. “Evil wins when good men stand quietly by.”  It is by our silence that others are allowed to continue.  Speak up and remind the ladies that it could be them that others are talking about.  Then offer 2-3 positive things to the conversation.

 Support – Build relationships, make connections, do business with and give quality referrals to the women in your community. Promote their business, show up at their events and give support whenever possible. Stop talking about supporting and start doing it.

Celebrate – Stand up and speak out for the success of other women, even small successes celebrated build spirit and momentum.

Pass on the information, change the conversation, we are women, we have the power to change the world,  but it starts with us.  We may not be able to change all women and how they behave, but we can certainly change how we show up and set the example

I met with one of my clients yesterday and we talked about his target market, I had a conversation with a friend who runs her business and we talked about her target market.  I had a phone call with a potential referral partner  to discuss our referral strategy and we talked about our target market.

It seems that Target Market is an important subject, and one that every business should focus on clarifying.  So why does it seem so difficult, for businesses and solopreneurs to identify a target market?  Not having clarity on this topic creates a whole host of problems;

1.  You spend your marketing money using an ineffective shotgun approach that nets low value results.

2.  You find yourself networking at completely inappropriate places.  If I sell cars and I know that 65% of all new car purchasing decisions are made by women, then I am going to go network with women and other businesses who sell to women, not a room full of men.

3.  You end up having the wrong conversations with the wrong people at the wrong time.  Because you are looking for anybody who needs your services you waste a lot of time talking to everybody even when they are the wrong somebodies.

4.  You cannot develop a good referral partner and you end up with a lot of sources who are referring you low level, low value leads.  A good referral partner has the exact same target market as you do, you are focused and you have a strategy for developing referrals.

5.  You miss great opportunities because you are so busy taking care of the low value clients and customers that your high value opportunities are passed by.

10% of your clients create 80% of your income and 10% of your clients suck up 80% of your time and generate little income, why would you use shotgun approaches that only net you more of the latter?  If you focus on the top 10%, spend your time and money seeking more of them, the other 80% will just show up and you will be able to regularly clear out the bottom 10% thus freeing up your time to nurture the top 10%.

I encourage my clients to network in a variety of places based upon their target market. One suggestion I often give them is to sponsor an event then network with both the attendees and the other sponsors. My friend Jill Bode, with Designed Write PR, is my guest blogger this month. The following article is excellent information if you are looking to create quality visiblity for yourself and your company. Next time someone ask you to sponsor an event take a look at this article and decide if it is a good fit for you and your company.

The typical business is offered opportunities to sponsor various events and organizations. It can be difficult to decide if the proffered sponsorship is good investment and even harder to say “no” to a good cause, but as a businessperson, those types of decisions are paramount if you want to keep the doors open.

Here are seven ways you can identify if a sponsorship is a good fit for your company:

1) Does it put you in front of your key demographic? A sponsorship that puts you in front of a large group of potential prospects, is usually going to be the very best investment of your marketing dollars and will help you achieve that all-important visibility with your market.

2) What does your return on investment have to be in order to make the sponsorship profitable for you? If you need to set appointments with 50 people and the event only has 75 attendees, it may not be a good fit. Unless…

3) Is the event organizer willing to highly recommend your product or services to the attendees? If they are AND they have good credibility, they may help you get to your target and then some.

4) Will you be able to interact and talk to attendees during the event? On-site access is paramount if you are going to be able to create those initial impressions and start the sales process.

5) How many staff/fans/friends will you be able to bring along to the event with you as part of your sponsorship? These folks can be crucial to your success because they can say the great things about you that you could never say about yourself. The more people you can bring as part of your sponsorship, the more valuable it becomes.

6) Does the subject of the event deliver information or ideas that are useful to your company? If you get an opportunity to sell to your target market AND learn something new in the process, this a real home run for you and your business. Be sure to factor the expense of comparable training when figuring out your return on investment.

7) Will you be able to follow up with the event attendees? Is the organization willing to give you access and do you have time to reach out afterwards and convert attendees into customers? The day after the event is frequently when the profitability phase of the event begins, don’t forget to plan for it. After all profitability is the reason that you can stay in business.

Applying these seven criteria to the next sponsorship that is offered to you and your company will help you make profitable choices. And, although I may be biased, I think that the sponsorship opportunity below does a great job of meeting those seven criteria for a large number of companies, especially those who sell to women (and there must be a lot of those companies because 85 percent of all brand purchases are made by women*).

Click here to find out more about this limited sponsorship opportunity.

*figure provided courtesy of She-conomy.com

Networking, one of the most popular activities in the business world.  It is written about, talked about, videos are done, trainings are held, books are written, and blogs blogs blogs all about networking.  Most of them say the same things over and over, leaving you with “Tips” and “Sure Fire Way” to network better. If you are networking as a way to grow your business, then you really want to create a strategy for developing referrals and business from you networking activities.

There are steps to creating a referral strategy for your business, and it starts with creating the foundation. Understanding why you are in business and what drives you to do what you do is key to having a business you love. When there is passion in what you do it comes through and people are attracted to you, they want to be around you and they are happy to refer business to you.

If you ask people to describe networking you will get a variety of responses, most often it sounds something like this, “going to events where business people exchange business cards and talk business with one another.”  While indeed that is a good description of what a lot of “networking” events look like, it is not the only way that networking takes place.  People get so hung up on the formal side of networking that they completely miss all the other opportunities to network.  I personally spend far less time at “networking events” and far more time networking in ways that I enjoy.

Recently, I was invited to be part of #Social46.  This is a group of social media minded people who have strong networks, they were asked to support the Super Bowl 2012 committee in welcoming guest and helping them out using social media.  I was honored to be asked, and took advantage of the opportunity. Many of these are people I have heard of but never met in person, some I knew and have relationships with and still others I have never met online or offline.  This is the kind of networking that I enjoy, a group of people bound together for a common cause.

It does not take long to build strong relationships with people who have a common cause because you are all working and supporting one another to achieve that cause.  For this group there was the added excitement of being able to connect the city and the visitors, and being the first city to ever fully use social media in such a large event. I have a strong affinity for many of the participants, they are my role models on Social Media, and they are so giving of their time and efforts.  These are the kind of people I want in my network, who I want to learn more about, and who I feel good about referring to others because their “Givers Gain” attitude make them so referrable.

Working with a small group of people for a common cause is often far more effective that going month after month to big “networking” events.  Take a look a the networking that you are doing, how are you breaking out of the traditional mode and finding new ways to connect and build relationships?  Share some of your ideas with us!

Following is an article written by my friend TJ Couzens with BrandX Research.  His company does research on the women’s market so they are pretty informed about female market and what women want.

You should know how women impact the health care field. With health care serving as the centerpiece for heated Washington debates, it is crucial for businesses to understand the health care market and just how prominent a role women serve in that market.

Through a recent research project, Brand X Research has discovered some interesting facts about women in the health care marketplace:

•   87% of women believe physician communication can be improved.
•  Women are responsible for 76% of surgical procedures.
• Women represent 81% of private pay patients in hospitals.
• Women have lower re-admissions than their male counterparts.

Not surprisingly, our research shows that women are more conscious about their health. This would lead to the conclusion that drug companies, hospitals, physicians and other health care providers should place strong primary focus on women as a target audience. The detailed findings of this research can be a valuable tool in better defining marketing efforts.

Marketing health care to women begins with communicating on a personal level. Show them that you are listening to and addressing their concerns and desires. Show them that you understand the role they play as the family health care decision-maker. Show them that your product or service fits perfectly into their goal of keeping their family safe and healthy.

Brand X Research, a research and marketing firm focused specifically on the largest consumer group in the world – women. Through in-depth research, both quantitative and qualitative, Brand X serves clients in all industries helping them refine marketing messages and reach more women more effectively.

Men and women want to achieve the same things but they are not always on the same path to accomplish the goal.  For women it is often about the journey, for men it is about getting to the destination.  Here is a clip of a presentation that I did in California to a room of about 1000 people discussing this topic.

Same Destination – Different Paths

As we rush to write our goals and move headlong into the new year, take a little time to review all that you have accomplished in 2011. Sometimes we get so caught up in the doing of everyday life that it can feel like we get nothing at all done. A year in review is important when you are working on your future, knowing where you have been, what you have done will help you as you start to set your goals.

Pull you journal out and take the time to answer the following questions:

• What did I start and not get finished that I want to move forward?
• Who did I meet that I want to continue to stay connected to?
• What have I accomplished that I am proud of?
• What lessons did I learn?
• What did I do that was fun?
• What was the highlight of my year?

 As you start to answer these questions you will be surprised how many things you begin to discover about the past year. The things that you got done, the things you learned all come together to move you into your new year.  Enjoy the journey!

 Last week I posted 3 Things that Women Do Better Than Men, today it is the guys turn. Can you believe it ladies, there are things that men do better than we women. Of course you can, it is designed by nature. Men are great at doing a variety of things while women are great at others, we are different in every aspect of business and life. In this case we are going to look at 3 things that men do better at networking that women do.

 The goal is for us to learn how to network with men and leverage our networks more effectively. Women are great at building strong long term relationship. Where we are weak is taking those relationships and turning them in to business opportunities, for referrals and even sales. Here are 3 things that men do better and we can learn to do it too.

1.  They can identify business opportunities quicker than women. Men can see opportunity and they are willing to go after in much quicker. In the world of networking, men can identify where they are most likely to be able to get and give referrals with someone.

2. They are more willing to ask for what they want. Their fear of rejection is much less than a woman’s fear of rejection. They are not afraid to ask people to do things for them, and they are clear about what they want and approach people in business with that in mind.

3. Men are much better at not taking things personally, they understand that it is about the business. They can have the business deal go bad and they know it should not get in the way of their friendship.

 These are great traits for women to be able to do also. My next post will discuss how we can benefit by learning from each other. What kinds of thing have you noticed about the differences in men and women networking?