Ladies we all know that building a strong business network is key to being the most successful in life and in business. Building a strong network requires two things, time and education, with the key requirement being time. After all it takes time to invest in our education.

Here is one tip to help you, learn to have a strong No! No, I cannot serve on the PTA Board this year. No, I cannot chair that fundraiser. No, I cannot take on that project at work. No, I cannot be the carpool mom for this activity. It is better to have a strong No than it is to have a weak Yes. A weak Yes ruins your credibility, and shows you as someone who only half commits. A strong No shows that you know you limitations and how to give effectively.

Take a look at what you are trying to accomplish, do your activities really support that? Instead of taking on new activities, take a look at the things that you are already doing and figure out how they are supporting you in building that network that you need. How much time are you spending at unproductive events? Would your time be better spent going to events where you know you will be able to connect with people already in your network? Do you really need to add more people right now?

Next ask yourself, how much time have you set aside for your personal and professional development? If you want to build a network of people who help you build a business you love, you need to set aside time to learn the skills it takes to build the relationships that help to build a business and life you love.

This week, take time to list all of your activities, how are they serving you? How are you serving them? Which of them do you need to give up? Where in your life, are you doing things out of a sense of duty versus a passion for the activity? Where in your life are you not really giving 100%?

When you do that, you will know what you need to give up and what you should say No to.

I went to Ireland in February to speak at a conference, I connected with some of my friends there, and made many new friends, last week I was in Australia, training a group of franchise owners.  In August I will be in Africa working with a team of franchise owners, and in October, I am going to go hang out with friends in London, Paris and Scotland.   Ten years ago I would not have believed that I could know someone on every continent of the globe, but today, I do.  It makes for a diversely rich network, allowing me to learn, connect and travel the world.

One of the benefits of traveling,  teaching and learning is my appreciation of my very own country, to be able to see the US through the eyes of those outside the US.  To travel the way that I do in the world never would have happened if I had not decided to be intentional about the creation of my network.  Every single opportunity that I have had to travel has been the result of my network, they have referred me over and over to others.  They extend invitations and make me feel at home in a foreign place.

Today it is not hard at all to build a global network.  With social media sites like Facebook, Linkedin, and  Twitter and international face to face organizations like Rotary, Toastmasters and BNI the world continues to feel as if it is shrinking.  When you meet someone on the other side of the world who knows someone you know, it hits you, just how connected we all are!

Here are a few things that you can do to increase your global connections and create contacts around the world.

1.  Social Media – Get active on sites like Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn and start connecting globally. These are the big three. But, I have found there are more region specific sites like Ecademy that are heavily used by Europeans, so I am able to have more conversations and stay up on world topics by participating there. There are also sites that are more heavily influenced by Asian participants too.

2.  Attend international trade shows and conferences. Attending workshops with people from all over the world allows you to connect over a common interest. This opens the door for future conversations and connection. Don’t forget to follow up with the people that you meet! I am a member of the National Speakers Association and one of my best connections came from the New York Conference where I was able to meet with Lindsay Adams, President of the International Speakers Association. I had the opportunity to co-present with him while I was in Australia because of the connection we made at conference.

3.  When the opportunity to take a program comes up go to a city with international influence. Given the opportunity I prefer to go to Chicago because I know that I am more likely to meet people from all over the world than I would if I stay in my own town. I have made several great contacts using this tactic alone.

4.  Get involved in international organizations like BNI, Toastmasters and Rotary where you can connect globally while doing business locally. These are organizations that have large global memberships and a common cause, they encourage you to stop in and visit the local chapters when you are in the area.

It is a big world out there, but when you know someone everywhere you go, it makes it small and cozy.  You are comfortable going to a part of the world you have never been to when you connect with someone you know there.  It is wonderful to be able to learn about other cultures, languages, styles, history, and yes even food.  The opportunity to build your global network is better than it ever has been, you just have to step out, and do it!

I love to blog, but I have been inconsistent over the last year because I have been working on a major book project that has taken 4 years of research, and 12,000 people surveyed. This book, Business Networking and Sex, has been under deadline with the publisher so all my writing time has been taken up working to meet those deadlines.

Whenever I thought about blogging I would start to feel guilty for not working on the book. After all it is a very exciting project, but the book goes to the publisher this May 1, and I am very excited. Both to turn the book into the publisher but also to get back to blogging.

My personal blog is going to take a bit of a change, with a new look from Roundpeg and a wider variety of topics. I hope you will enjoy the blog, leave some feed back, ask some questions or even challenge my thinking!

It’s good to be back!

I came across this question on Linkedin. So I thought I would share it. It is important that we pay attention to what we are doing in our networking activities if we want to get the best results.

In this post we look at the third step of the referral process. Without step three there is no referral, you cannot pass a referral if you cannot identify a persons need. In step three, you teach your network members how to identify the need for your product or services.   Few people ever teach this part of the process to their network members. They assume that if they pass enough knowledge about what they do and how they do it, people will pass them referrals.  If you stop at steps one and two you will only receive leads or reactive referrals.  While reactive referrals are good, they cannot be predicted and depend on.  Reactive referrals required a lot of “If’s” for them to happen.

If someone calls me and ask me who I know that can fix their car, and if I can remember to pass your information on, and if they pick up the phone and call you, then you get business.  Companies pay a lot of money to develop top of mind thinking for just this kind of business. Companies like Nike, Coke and Budwiser.  Word of mouth works, it brings this kind of business in and you can make a living doing it.   But, it will not get you proactive, predictable, high value referred prospects.  For that to happen your network must understand how to identify need on your behalf.   What questions can they ask their clients when they are talking to them, what might be happening in their lives that will trigger your network to ask the questions.  What pain do fix for your customers and how will you teach that to your network members?

The more you teach your network the higher the quality referrals you will receive from them.

The Second step of the referral process is the smallest of all the steps, because it is the easiest of the five steps and one that most people are comfortable doing. That step is Knowledge. If your referral partners or power team members are going to pass you referrals they need to have knowledge of you, your business and how you do business. Who are your ideal clients and how do you help them.

Passing on the knowledge of your business is a pretty common practice. Go to most any networking event and you will hear everyone talking about their business. How they do it, where they do it and who they do it for. If you are going to get good referrals you have to follow each step in order.

When you give a bunch of information to someone you have not taken the time to build trust or credibility with it becomes wasted effort. They have a lot of information but they are not likely to pass you referrals. They will give you leads and information but they are not going to pass you the quality referrals you are looking for.  Passing knowledge of your to others creates word of mouth and/or visibility in the market place but is not the sources of referrals.

Take time on step one, build trust. Once you have done that, it is time to teach your referral partners and power teams members about your business.

The first step to getting quality referrals is the trust step. All to often this is the one step that everyone tries to rush and it is the one step that is not controlled by you. While there are things that you can do that builds trust, it is actually up to the other person to decide when and if they trust you.

Until you have trust with others, there is no way that they are going to risk their reputation or their best clients with you. Every time you receive a referral from someone they are in fact lending you their credibility, their reputation.

What are the steps that you can take to build trust with your fellow network members? Think about what it takes before you trust another person. Do you trust fast, until someone proves they are not worthy of your trust, or do you trust slow, people must prove they are trustworthy first. What actions motivate you to trust?Here are some very simple things that build trust everyday.

First, do what you say you are going to do. This seems simple enough right? But all to often people over extend themselves or they say yes to things that they are really not interested in doing. If you say that you are going to do something for someone right it down on a task list, put a date and time next to it and getting it done.

In a survey of over 12,000 business people, participants stated that follow up was a key activity if they were going to pass referrals, when people did not follow up promptly they did not trust them to pass referrals to them.

Don’t talk about you, ask questions and show interest in learning about the other person.

Listen to the person who is talking to you, don’t look at your cell phone, don’t look over their shoulder, pay attention, show respect for their time and information.

Be positive, people who have a smile and positive attitude are the people we want to be around. They are likeable and we trust them quicker.

Lastly, whenever possible, give a lead, referral, connection or information. Practice the givers gain attitude, it will take you a long way in building strong trusting relationships.

Take your time, be authentic and people will trust and want to refer you. They will know that they can trust you to make them look good with their clients, family and friends. For more information on building trust I recommend the book.

If you get a chance pick up The Speed of Trust by Stephen Covey, he gives a systematic approach to building trust with a list of the 7 Secrets to building trust in your life.

How are you making deposits into your referral sources relationship bank account? Nurturing the relationships that you are developing takes time and effort; relationships do not spring up over night. They must be nurtured and cared for. There are many things that you can do to help move your relationships to a higher level.

Collaboration is an excellent way to build trust and support for one another. Collaborating creates a reliable and committed source of information, support, and referrals and helps you achieve your goals more easily and quickly.

Here is a list of things you can collaborate on that supports each person.

1. Write a newsletter. Each person can write an article with their by lines. This is a great way to support one another using collaboration and makes the work of a newsletter much easier.

2. Put together a seminar or training event. Real Estate Agents and Mortgage Brokers often do seminars for first time homebuyers together.

3. Co-host a social event that brings together the clients and contacts of both of the collaborative partners. Golf outings, parties, and many other types of events are good for this tactic.

4. Collaborate on a Fundraising event that supports a common charity.

Here are some important steps to remember if you are going to collaborate;

• Decide on what kinds of resources you need to obtain – information, support, or referrals
• Meet to discuss the type of partnership, your needs and resources, and their needs and resources.
• Frame an informal agreement on how the partnership will work – what resources you will share, how you will share them, and for how long.
• Make sure that both parties are equally committed to the work and the outcome of the project.

Done correctly collaboration is a powerful way to support one another, grow the relationship and make major deposits in the relationship bank account.

Referrals are the holy grail of the business community. Every business wants them, every business person is out networking in hopes of getting referred prospects for their business. Referrals come in different shades, just like the color red. The higher you can move the quality of the referral the less time you will need to spend it the sales process. Good referrals do not come quickly or easily. People must trust you if they are going to put their reputation on the line for you. After all, when you are being referred you are in essences borrowing that persons reputation and credibility.

If you want to move the quality of the referrals you get to a higher level here are 3 steps you can begin to implement with your network.

Build a deeper relationship with the person you are networking with. People want to do business with people they know, like and trust. Developing relationships built on trust takes time. Spend time finding out about what your partners are trying to accomplish, and help them accomplish it.

1. Know exactly how you want your network to refer you, then teach them how to do it. The more time that you spend training and being trained by your referral partners the better results you will get from them and they will get from you. If you want a face to face introdution then you must train your referral partners how to set that up for you.
2. Know who you want to be connected to. If you are telling your network that you want to be connected to anyone who, or everyone is a good connection then you are dropping the ball. Your network members want to help you but you have to make it easy for them.

Getting good referrals from your network requires work on your part, it requires time invested in your network, and it requires time to train your network. The more time you invest in the development of your network the more valuable the referrals will be when you get them.

As the economy took a hit and began to spiral down, email newsletters went up!  I am getting triple what I use to get.  I did not sign up for the emails, I did not ask to get them, I simply gave someone my business card and they believed that gave them permission to put me on their mailing list.  I am getting letters on a wide variety of topics;  Leadership, Sales Training, Human Resources, Finances and Investments, Marketing, Networking, Health & Fitness, Diet, Massage, Real Estate and on and on.

I don’t mind getting my clients emails, I don’t mind getting email newsletters from people who’s services I use or those that I personally subscribed to.    I don’t automatically put people on my list.  If someone wants my newsletter they have to write that on the back of their business card, send me an email asking for it, or subscribe to it.  I do not assume that because I have their business card I have their permission to email them.

I have tried to unsubscribe and one person became upset with me and sent me an email saying so.  After that I decided to start putting everyone who sends me a newsletter on my list so they will get mine in return.  Gee, was I surprised when MOST of them unsubscribed to my newsletter?  Or that MOST of them did not bother to open it.  I was not, it was clear to me from the beginning that they were only interested in a one way conversation.

So, now I have set up a rule for each newsletter that I did not subscribe to, they are automatically forwarded to the delete file which is emptied every Friday.  Last week, 21 newsletters and Ezines were deleted!  Today there is an equal number that will be tossed.

One technique I use to get permission is a simple follow up with the people I meet, I will “Forward” them a copy of my last Referral Tip of the Week with a note that says.

Blah Blah Blah….by the way I do a weekly article called Referral Tip of the Week.  Here is a copy of the last one I sent out last week,  I thought it might interest you.  If you like it and want to get it regularly feel free to subscribe or forward it to a friend.  I hope you enjoy this one. Blah Blah Blah.

Now it is up to them to decide if it is something they would like to get regularly or not.  This has increased my open rate and that is more important to me than the number of people getting the information.

So, remember just because you have someones business card – does not mean they want your newsletter.  ASK FIRST!