Relationships, Responsibility and Forgiveness
Friends who care about you are hard to find and should be held onto even when one screws up. There is always room for open honest communication and forgiveness. The hardest part is the open honest communication, and ASKING for Forgiveness then GIVING it!
I wrote the above statement and posted in on my Facebook Profile, because of the numerous comments I decided to write more here. The most important thing that we build in our lives are relationships, the people whom we call friends, those who help us, mentor, encourage and cheer us on. Now and then we screw up, do something wrong or hurt someones feeling and suddenly we find that we have caused great damage to the relationship. We may not have intended to do it, nevertheless we did. At this point we have a choice, let the relationship die or reach out and attempt to repair the relationship.
Repairing the relationship first requires open and honest communication. Both sides need to be willing to speak what is there without blame or excuses, to listen to one another. That communication should consist of 3 things.
Take Responsibility – don’t make excuses, don’t blame, just take responsibility. Part of taking responsibility is making sure you have taken steps not to repeat the action.
Ask for Forgiveness – asking for forgiveness is not easy. It is necessary if you want to recover your relationship. There is nothing more that needs to be said beyond “I take full responsibility for my actions and I ask for your forgiveness.”
Give Forgiveness – if you want others to forgive you when you screw up, and you will, be willing to Give Forgiveness. Forgiveness does not mean that you condone the action, you just release the anger, upset and disappointment and move forward.
People who really care about us don’t come along everyday. We are all human and in our humanity we screw up, it is our nature, but it does not mean that we have to give up the friendships we have created.
About Hazel Walker
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3 Responses so far.
Hazel it was very thought provoking when you posted the initial statement last week but you have built on the topic so nicely giving us the steps to follow. Thank you!!
You are welcome Tara. It is sad how many people just stop talking to each other because of anger or disappointment. Taking responsibility, asking for and giving forgiveness is so freeing. Even when the other person does not respond to the request there is a certain freedom in the act of Asking for Forgiveness. Thanks for your comment.
Saying sorry and asking for forgiveness is very hard. That said, i agree with your post 100%.
Acknowledging your wrongs is the first step to moving on and maintaing/strengthening an existing relationship. I know this from having to open up, say sorry and ask for forgiveness time and time again.