While I was doing research for a book that I am working on, I came across this quote, left by a survey participant. “I am very tired of networking for the sake of networking I find nothing to hook onto. Everyone talks, there is nothing to happen, nothing happens.”  This is not an uncommon sentiment, I have heard it time and again from people who are running around doing willy-nilly networking. Networking without a plan and a system can be frustrating.

I have broken the statement down and offered 4 techniques that would turn this persons experience of networking from a waste of time to a successful use of time.

1. “I am tired of networking for the sake of networking” Networking for the sake of networking is a waste of time. I can certainly understand why one would feel tired of networking if they are going to events with no goals or intention set before attending.  Set a goal prior to attending the event, how many people do you need to meet, whom do you want to meet, what professions are you looking to connect with, all of these are reasonable goals for a networking event. I often use a 3×5 card to jot down my networking goals. Once I have met the goal I know I am now free to leave or just socialize.

2. “I find nothing to hook on to” A simple change of mind set is needed here. Instead of looking for something for yourself, shift your mindset to “Givers Gain”.   Start thinking about how you might be able to help others in the room. That simple mindset will completely change the way that you approach each person and you will find that there are many opportunities to “hook onto”.

3. “Everyone talks” Often at networking events I feel like it is a bunch of televisions talking to one another.   No one is listening. Next time you are at an event and the room has gotten loud ask the person you are trying to have a conversation with to step away from the crowd, then begin to ask them questions allowing them to talk while you listen. People want to be heard unfortunately there are not enough of us listening.

4. “Nothing to happen,nothing happens” There may be some unreal expectations set here. What kind of things are you expecting to happen at a networking event? Realistically it is an opportunity to meet people and find ways to build a deeper relationship. Until there is a relationship built on mutual trust, likely there will be little happening. Unfortunately most people go to networking events with unrealistic expectations, when building a business by referral you must be willing to invest time in your network.

Good networking requires a plan, a follow up system, and time.  Do you have a plan?   Are you working it?

One of the first things I work with my clients on is the proper use of “Networking”, as well as the best ways to use their time and energy when they are networking. Over the last 15 years, I have watched people spend many hours networking. As a matter of fact I was one of those people. It is exactly how I got the moniker, “Queen of Networking”. One day, my mentor asked me to begin to track all my time. Time that I spent networking, time I spent answering the phone, emails, working on projects, surfing the net, and so on. This was an eye opening experience.   I found that most of the stuff I was doing was not having a positive impact on my business bottom line.

60% of all of my activities in a given week were around networking. Going to the events, following up with every single card that I collected, staying in contact via email and phone calls, screening and fielding emails and phone calls from people who met me while networking, signing up for other events, driving to events, preparing for the events and so forth and so on. You get the picture; I was a very busy lady. Busy does not equal profitable.

Once we had a clear understanding about where my time was going, it was now time to look at how much of that time was actually having a positive impact on my business bottom line. What became painfully clear is while 60% of my time was spent, adding people to my database, and networking, networking, networking, 80% of my income was coming from 10-12 people, 200 where people whom I knew, supported and referred and the other 3000 names and contacts in my database were just that – names and unfulfilled relationships.

The most important feedback that my mentor gave me was simply this statement; “Imagine what your business would look like if you spent 60% of your time nurturing the 10-12 people who are helping to grow your business.” It was a statement that would keep me up at night.

Today you will not find me at every event and when I attend a networking event, I do so very strategically. I have a goal in mind, a purpose to be fulfilled and connections to make for at least one of those 12 people who were helping me to build my business. When I network for others, my own business grows with very little effort on my part. I have the opportunity to see “Givers Gain” in action.   Before you go to your next networking event ask yourself the following questions:

• Where is most of my business coming from?
• Which organizations are producing results for my business?
• Who passes me the most business?
• What are my goals for the event?
• Who do I need to help?
• How can my networking activities help my referral sources?
• What is my networking budget in both time and money?

I teach a series of Networking Classes to beginning Networkers and Business Owners for the Business Ownership Initiative here in Indiana.  I love helping business owners understand the Networking Process so that they can begin to create positive word of mouth for their businesses.  As we were summing up the class on night I ask each student, what is the most important thing that you have learned in this program?  Shane Helvie, Eye Design Graphics & Advertising Company summed it up beautifully.  He said, “What I learned is to build a great network you have to learn to ask twice.”   “Ask, how can I help them, then ask for what I need.”  Right on Target!

Asking others how you can help them and finding ways to do it, is how you will build credibility with potential referral sources.  many times when you ask someone the famous question, “How can I help you?” the often have no answer at all, and if they do have an answer then it is the usual “send me leads” statement.  They have not really given much thought to what others can do for them.  In this case, you may want to make some suggestion on how you might be able to help them.   The Referral Institute teaches 18 Tactics and 15 Ways others can help you, here are a couple of easy ones that you can always put to use.

1.  Invite them to an event with you

2.  Ask them if they would like to put an article in your newsletter or blog

3.  Send out their information in your next client mailing

4.  Introdue them to someone who could be a possible source for them

5.  Quote them in one of your articles as an expert

There are a great many things that you can do beyond giving a referral or a lead.  Be creative, look outside the obs.  Once you have helped someone else, then you will be ready to ask the second question.

I am in a stage of my life and business were I get to enjoy the fruits of my hard work. Business is good and I am enjoying my life. As I have grown professionally, personally and spiritually I have learned that my life is about the relationships I build and the contribution that I make in others lives. I am often asked what my secret is and I say over and over again, it is the way that I have designed my life.

Because I believe that it is important for each of us to stop, look behind us , put out our hand and help someone else. To Mentor another is one of the highest forms of Givers Gain. We give of our time, our knowledge and our support to someone else for the sheer purpose of giving back to another. Currently, I mentor 3 young people, Ryan, Tiffany and Brandon. Each are young entrepreneurs, looking for guidance, help in living their lives and growing their businesses.

Ryan is a young man who is very giving and bright. He has developed software and is working on finding investors. He is the guardian for his nephews, has overcome a major health issue caused by an accident and has a positive and supportive attitude.

Tiffany is a young woman who has a passion for history, for life and for giving and helping others. Her energy is contagious and willingness to learn is inspiring.

Brandon is a bright young man who exudes talent and energy.  He just needs direction and focus. His willingness to learn and a desire to improve both himself and his life makes Brandon is a joy to mentor.

It was never my intention to be a mentor but I find that people show up whom I am called to help. In my life there have been people who have helped me create success in my life and business. They were willing to reach back, put out a hand and help me as I was coming up the path. People who helped me professionally in my business, people who helped spiritually, and those who gave me help in my day to day life. I believe that as business professionals and human beings we are called to help others who are trying to achieve in life what we have achieved.

How do you find someone to mentor? I have never gone looking for someone to mentor. Each of the young people I mentor showed up in my life. If you heart and mind is open to the possibility of helping others, those people will show up in your life.

You will find that as you mentor others your life is blessed and enriched in ways that you never thought possible. Be open to the possibility and the protegees will show up.