I did a presentation today for the Indianapolis Chamber of Commerce, Business Growth Series.   I was asked the following question, How do you get connected to the decision maker of a company?

A good question and one that many people ask. The answer is simple, but it is not easy. Here is the answer for all of you who want to know the simple answer;   Ask you network to connect you.  There I told you it was simple, just ask.

Ah, but I also said, it was not easy.  Here is the rest of the answer.   There is a lot of work that must go into your network prior to asking and getting the connections.

1. You must develop your network – Too many business people spend all their time building these huge databases of people, constantly adding to it. They have very wide networks, but not very deep. Stop adding people to your network, take the time to identify the people in your network whom you need to really develop a relationship with. Go into your network and start working on building relationships.  See who is already referring you, find your key sources and connectors.  Spend time working in your network, develop the people you already know versus adding more people to the network.

2. Identify your key connectors. Who are they? In every network of people there are key connectors who will be able to connect you to a multitude of people you would not otherwise have the opportunity to meet. Build deeper relationships with your key connectors.

3.  Know who you want to be connected to.  This means you need to do a little homework and find out who this contact is you are after.  To often I hear “I want an introduction to the head of Marketing for the XYZ company.”    It would be more effective when asked this way:  ”I am looking for a personal introduction to David Jones, of the XYZ Company.”  Now your network knows who you want to be connected to and how you want to be connected.  They can easily look in their database and see if they know that person.   Most networkers never do the home work to identify who they want to know.

A few weeks ago I walked into a little shop downtown called Arts a Poppin. It was one of those places that sell all kinds of locally created art work.   As is always the case in shops like this, there were all kinds of unique items to catch my attention and beckon for me to carry them home.  As I picked up items, I wondered who made it and why?  What is the story?

On one shelf there lay these composition notebooks covered in vinyl covers of all colors.  None of them had really distinguishable designs on them, but they were high quality, very well made covers for composition notebooks.  Anyone who knows me, knows that I use a lot of composition books.  I carry them around with me all the time to keep notes, to do’s and idea in, so these covers interested me.  I picked them up looked them over and could not really figure them out.  Yes they were covers, nicely made, but the design or lack of design in the colors struck me as odd.  I noticed a small tag sewn on the cover that said, “Freakin Billboard” .  I also noticed the price tag of $19.99, I laid the one I had down and decided that I really did not need to spend $20 bucks on a vinyl cover for my $2.00 notebook.

Several days later I was invited to a party.  I met two women Ann and Beth,  we began to talk about what we did for a living.  They told me that they were into recycling, specifically they recycled Billboards.  Today’s Billboards are done in vinyl, when they are taken down they are thrown into landfills by the tons, so they decided to make “stuff” out of this water-proof material.  All kinds of stuff, messenger bags, purses and journals.  It was a fascinating story and as they were telling it, I thought back to the vinyl covered composition books at the shop.  Suddenly I realized those notebooks were their journals, Ann and Beth were “Freakin Billboard”!    Funny how small the world can seem sometimes.

The very next time I was downtown, I stopped into that same little shop, and I bought a vinyl cover for my composition notebook, the cost of $19.99, did not seem like that much because I knew the story behind the product.  You see the vinyl cover was just a vinyl cover until I knew the story, then it became something more.

Do people know your story and can other people tell your story?   Think about it.

I am writing a book with two friends, Frank DeRaffele Jr and Dr. Ivan Misner,  based on a 12,000 person survey. Many people left comments about networking, things they liked, were challenged by, or just wanted us to know. One of the most frequent comments that we have received is on the “Handshake”.

These comments show clearly that how you shake hands leaves an impact on your ability to communicate or get others to communicate with you. Just as how you appear has an impact, so to does your handshake.  Unfortunately, I believe that there is little attention paid to the handshake and the proper way to do it.  Here are a few of the comments that we received:

I communicate easier when I am greeted with a firm handshake from a woman rather than a dainty or limp handshake…limp means she has no idea what she is talking about. and cares even less about shaking your hand

You can’t judge a book by its cover (!) but you can judge strength of character & business development potential from a handshake.

A strong handshake indicates to me a no nonsense individual, straight to the point, lets get on with the business….and I have to say for the most part that is very true.

There is no doubt from my experience, that those with whom strong business links have been forged, have been with the owners of the firm handshake. Maybe the sub-conscious takes over. It is strange but it is true.

Understanding the etiquette of a proper handshake is key to your networking success as you can see above. Practice your handshake with those who will give you solid feedback.  Here is a very good article on the steps to developing a solid handshake.  Don’t let your handshake leave a bad impression.

One of the first things I work with my clients on is the proper use of “Networking”, as well as the best ways to use their time and energy when they are networking. Over the last 15 years, I have watched people spend many hours networking. As a matter of fact I was one of those people. It is exactly how I got the moniker, “Queen of Networking”. One day, my mentor asked me to begin to track all my time. Time that I spent networking, time I spent answering the phone, emails, working on projects, surfing the net, and so on. This was an eye opening experience.   I found that most of the stuff I was doing was not having a positive impact on my business bottom line.

60% of all of my activities in a given week were around networking. Going to the events, following up with every single card that I collected, staying in contact via email and phone calls, screening and fielding emails and phone calls from people who met me while networking, signing up for other events, driving to events, preparing for the events and so forth and so on. You get the picture; I was a very busy lady. Busy does not equal profitable.

Once we had a clear understanding about where my time was going, it was now time to look at how much of that time was actually having a positive impact on my business bottom line. What became painfully clear is while 60% of my time was spent, adding people to my database, and networking, networking, networking, 80% of my income was coming from 10-12 people, 200 where people whom I knew, supported and referred and the other 3000 names and contacts in my database were just that – names and unfulfilled relationships.

The most important feedback that my mentor gave me was simply this statement; “Imagine what your business would look like if you spent 60% of your time nurturing the 10-12 people who are helping to grow your business.” It was a statement that would keep me up at night.

Today you will not find me at every event and when I attend a networking event, I do so very strategically. I have a goal in mind, a purpose to be fulfilled and connections to make for at least one of those 12 people who were helping me to build my business. When I network for others, my own business grows with very little effort on my part. I have the opportunity to see “Givers Gain” in action.   Before you go to your next networking event ask yourself the following questions:

• Where is most of my business coming from?
• Which organizations are producing results for my business?
• Who passes me the most business?
• What are my goals for the event?
• Who do I need to help?
• How can my networking activities help my referral sources?
• What is my networking budget in both time and money?

I regularly meet with prospects and help them understand how much business they are getting from their network and what is being left behind. It is very enlightening and they are always surprised by their results. Do you know your referral percentage? No? Don’t worry, most people don’t know. So, grab a pencil and a calculator and I will help you find your “Referral Percentage” here we go,

1. List 4 people in your network who have passed you the most business by referral this year. For instance Tom, Sue, Bill, Kim.

2. Now, for each person write the number of referrals they have passed you in the last 12 months. Tom=4, Sue=12, Bill=5 and Kim=8

3. Think about each of those people, how many people do you believe each of them know? On average, we each know about 250 people. So, Tom=300, Sue=500, Bill=800 and Kim=200

4. Next step, add all of the referrals you have received together, in our example it would be 29, and then add all of the network members together. In our example, it would be 1800.

5.Last step, you will need your calculator to complete the process, 29 divided by 1800 equals .016%

What is your percentage? Are you surprised? Did you have 4 referral sources? Many of my clients are shocked and frustrated when they do this exercise. It is possible to increase this number. The very first time I did this it was .010 and I was shocked.

Here is the real question, what are you going to do to change this percentage? What steps can you take to develop a higher referral percentage? Hint: Stop adding people to your network, instead start digging deeper into your network and develop stronger strategic relationship! Start with the 4 people you listed here and if you did not have four then work on the ones you have. When you are sure that you have increased that relationship, then move on to create a new one, until your have your “Four”.

If you would like a system for generating a consistently higher percentage take a look at The Referral Institute for help.

It’s almost that time of year again, the grass is greening, the temperature is climbing and my golf clubs are calling. I have cleaned up my clubs, got all the new balls I will need for the first game and bought my new shoes. I am ready to go.

Every year thousands of people hit the golf courses for fun and business. There more networking done on the golf course as there is during chamber meetings.. When done right it is a great place to build strong referral relationships with your networking friends. After all, you have an extended amount of time with one to four people.

There are a few rules that you might want to be aware of when you hit the course with your referral sources.

1. Leave your cell phone in the car.

2. Use your time building relationships; don’t try to strong arm a deal.

3. Know the rules and etiquette of the game.

4. Don’t over indulge in the booze, this will not build credibility with your referral sources.

5. Don’t lose your temper on the course.

6. No cheating on the scorecard, remember you are trying to build trust.

7. Off colored language, whining or making excuses on the course are not in your best interest.

8. Avoid religious or political conversations.

9. Arrive early to get organized and practice.

10. Dress appropriately in attire that will take you from the links to the clubhouse. Denims, sleeveless shirts and short shorts are not acceptable

Plan strategically who you are playing with; have your best referral source bring someone you really want to meet, and you bring that person your referral source really wants to build a strong relationship

Most of all, enjoy the day.

I teach a program called Referral Dynamic, it is an amazing program, and I love the results that our participants achieve as a result of this program.  One of the topics that we have a very spirited conversation around is competitors.  You see it’s my belief that there are no competitors, just opportunities for collaboration.

Here is a note that one of our students sent us about his experience with competitors after our discussion:

“When I was taking the Referral Dynamics class Denise, our instructor, suggested that I consider working with a company whom I considered a major competitor.  I told her that would be crazy since they were paid to do what I do.  One afternoon I called an old friend of mine who happens to be this company’s top sales person.  I explained to her what I wanted, and asked her if there was any opportunity for us to work together.  To my total surprise, she went on to tell me that there was more than just an opportunity, there was in fact every reason for us to work together.  I turns out, when her company sold a program, they then turned it over to an advisor to manage.  Today, this has become a very profitable relationship for my company.  What I once considered a competitor is now one of my top referring partners.

The moral of the story, “Don’t assume that you know everything that your competitor does or how they do it.”

• Do you know who your competitors are?
• How do you compete?
• Who is their target market?
• How aer you alike?
• How are you different?
• What is their strength?
• What is their weakness?
• Do you know their price points?
• Who are their top sales people?
• Where might there be an opportunity for collaboration?

You might find that whom you thought was a competitor is truly an opportunity.  Spend the time to do the work, you may be very happy that you did.

Have you ever ask someone for a referral or introduction to one of their contacts only to be put off or not introduced at all?  Did you wonder why?  You might be surprised to know that your referral source did not have the same level of credibility as the level referral you were asking for.

I once had a referral partner who boasted a very large database.  We decided to sit down an do a little identifying out of each others database.  He had great contacts in his database, but when we began to rate the level of referrals that I was looking for against the level of relationship he had with the contact, there was a great disparity.

He quickly realized that his network was wide, but not very deep and he had some work to do to build higher levels of credibility with some of  the people in his database.  Once he had done some that work, be became a much better referral partner.  Most people spend a lot of time adding to their network instead of building relationships with their network.  They are always collecting cards and adding them to their list, but they take little time to go deep and develop strong credibility with the right people.

The reality is for most of us, we already know all the people we really need to know to accomplish the things that we want to accomplish.  Get to know the people you already have in your network.  Spend time building credibility with them before you go adding more people to your network.

I teach a series of Networking Classes to beginning Networkers and Business Owners for the Business Ownership Initiative here in Indiana.  I love helping business owners understand the Networking Process so that they can begin to create positive word of mouth for their businesses.  As we were summing up the class on night I ask each student, what is the most important thing that you have learned in this program?  Shane Helvie, Eye Design Graphics & Advertising Company summed it up beautifully.  He said, “What I learned is to build a great network you have to learn to ask twice.”   “Ask, how can I help them, then ask for what I need.”  Right on Target!

Asking others how you can help them and finding ways to do it, is how you will build credibility with potential referral sources.  many times when you ask someone the famous question, “How can I help you?” the often have no answer at all, and if they do have an answer then it is the usual “send me leads” statement.  They have not really given much thought to what others can do for them.  In this case, you may want to make some suggestion on how you might be able to help them.   The Referral Institute teaches 18 Tactics and 15 Ways others can help you, here are a couple of easy ones that you can always put to use.

1.  Invite them to an event with you

2.  Ask them if they would like to put an article in your newsletter or blog

3.  Send out their information in your next client mailing

4.  Introdue them to someone who could be a possible source for them

5.  Quote them in one of your articles as an expert

There are a great many things that you can do beyond giving a referral or a lead.  Be creative, look outside the obs.  Once you have helped someone else, then you will be ready to ask the second question.

When business people tell me that they do business with anybody, everybody or small businesses, I know that they have not spent time identifying who they want to work with and they are hoping that someone else will figure out for them. They are aiming at the sky hoping to hit a bird and every now and then, a flock will fly over a few get hit, and now the businessperson thinks their network is working. Reality is the flock just happens to fly over at the exact same time that the bullets fired. This is reactive and requires you to use a lot of time and energy with unpredictable results.

If you are going to build a business by referral, you have to narrow the scope so that you can identify referral sources who are working in the same target market, you will know where to spend your time networking and you will be able to collaborate with referral partners.

Look at your current clients, what do they have in common?

Survey your clients and see if you can find a common denominator? Surveymonkey is a free tool that you can use to customize a survey, go to www.surveymonkey.com design your own survey. You can get a great deal of demographics in a very short period, this can give you a snap shot of current clients and allow you to find the common thread.

Working on your target market takes time and energy; it will pay off in the end.