Have you ever met someone who you just did not like, maybe in church, at school, or at a business-networking event?  Of course! So, would it be fair to say that in all likelihood there are people out there who do not like you?  It’s shocking I know, but there are actually people out there who have never even spoken a word to you and they do not like you!  Take a deep breath, and ladies – grab a tissue and wipe your eyes, it’s ok.  Not everyone out there in the business world is going to like you, as that’s the nature of business and in fact, the nature of life.

It seems that the idea of having people not like us is a stumbling block for many women in business.  We worry that if we say the wrong thing, or if we have difficult conversations that are sometimes essential, then we will not be liked.  Therefore we don’t ask for the sale, we don’t speak up when we should, and we don’t take authority and own it. Instead we hope that people will “like” us enough to do business with us.

My coach reminds me often that my desire to be liked is in the way of my desire to be successful!  Ouch!

Here is the cold hard truth: when we put our need to be liked first we are being selfish, self-centered and insecure.  When we put the needs of others before our need to be liked, then and only then are we able to speak with truth, have authority in our expertise and lead others.  No leader anywhere can lead if their first desire is to be liked.  Even the bible cautions against having everyone like you, as it states in Luke 6:26, “Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for their fathers used to treat the false prophets in the same way”

Ladies, we don’t need everyone to like us, instead, what we need is for people to respect our authority, to have confidence in our ability to lead.  What we really want is respect for who we are and what we can accomplish.  That, ladies, is something we earn when we are secure in who we are, we know the value we bring to the table and we are able to stand in our own authority.  It is not given because we strive to be liked.

Men insult each other, but they don’t mean it, Women compliment each other and they don’t mean it either. I found that quote on my Facebook wall one day and I thought, wow, how profoundly true that statement really is. The last few weeks I have been thinking about how women treat each other, the back biting, gossiping, undermining way that we treat each other has a long term profound affect upon women as a whole and maintains a man’s view of women in the work place and in business.

 Women are often guilty of Crab mentality, and it is not just a corporate phenomenon. I see this mentality happen everyday with women business owners and on more than a few occasions I have even been the victim of the ladies in the crab pot. In all likelihood I have even been a participant in the crab pot.  Just as one woman rises to the top, all the rest of the women reach up and pull her back down.

 Women are often the first to criticize and sabotage one another. When one female business owner has a little success, others will pull her down, withhold connections, referrals and even ignore her. Recently after looking at a list of female entrepreneurs who had won awards for achievement, other women were being petty and unkind about the winners. With comments like “She must have nominated herself” “She is always in it for the glory” “She gets everything like she is the only female business owner out here” and “There are others who are so much more deserving that her.” Susan Tardanico had this to say in Forbes Magazine,  the same behaviors that wound and traumatize us as girls are alive and well in the workplace, undermining our career success.

 We worry that one women business owner is going to get further a head in her business than we are, so we don’t choose her to do our business with, we don’t give quality referrals to her so she can grow her business with our connections, we don’t build her up, talk her up, we don’t help her climb that ladder of success.  Worse yet, when she does succeed we will pay lip service to her success, but we will not show up to celebrate with her and we will not give her the credit for hard work to get where she is, we will just compare ourselves to her, find ourselves lacking and talk about how lucky she is.

If we are going to evolve as a gender, if we want to be taken seriously, if we are going to change the world,  then we all have to step into the space of change.

Correct yourself first – if you hear a fellow women business owner being demeaned or negatively talked about, don’t participate. Set the example and refuse to participate, leave the conversation. When we participate in running down another woman we do damage to ourselves and all women. We keep the stereotype alive.

Speak up – take a stand for other women. When you stand by and allow others to ruin the reputation or spread gossip, it is the same as participating in it. “Evil wins when good men stand quietly by.”  It is by our silence that others are allowed to continue.  Speak up and remind the ladies that it could be them that others are talking about.  Then offer 2-3 positive things to the conversation.

 Support – Build relationships, make connections, do business with and give quality referrals to the women in your community. Promote their business, show up at their events and give support whenever possible. Stop talking about supporting and start doing it.

Celebrate – Stand up and speak out for the success of other women, even small successes celebrated build spirit and momentum.

Pass on the information, change the conversation, we are women, we have the power to change the world,  but it starts with us.  We may not be able to change all women and how they behave, but we can certainly change how we show up and set the example

Are you a lazy networker?  I find that most people who are networking for the purpose of getting referrals are actually pretty lazy. Few people do any real homework on their target market, have no clue who they want to do business with or be connected to, have no systems for tracking, and most never even bother to follow-up.

There are so many things that you have to do to get good referrals, but somehow there is a belief that if you run around and spew enough knowledge about what you do, then people will trust you and send you business. It is lazy person networking. Here is a list of things you must do to be able to get quality referrals from your network.

1. You must know your Target Market.  If you do not know who you want to do business with then you cannot expect others to know either, most of my clients find this the hardest thing to come up with. Anybody who needs,  is not a target market. Hire a professional to help you
2.  You must be willing to go out and find referrals for your network. Everyone I meet just wants to spend all their time talking about themselves and their business. It’s easier to talk about me then it is to learn enough from my network members and talk about them.
3.  Track your activities, your time, your money, and your results. If you don’t track how will you know what is working and what is not. Who is giving you referrals, when was the last time that you talked to your network members, how many referrals have you passed to your network? All of these are very important things for you to know about your activities.
4.  You might have to make it to meetings, some in the morning, afternoon or evening. So many people do not want regular appointments just in case they don’t feel like getting up and going. Heck it is easier to sit at home and network online, I can do that in my jammies after all.
5. Develop a system for follow-up, stop being lazy and just using email. Step out and make yourself memorable. Drop a post card in the mail,or mail a thank you note. It takes a little more time and work, but it does pay off.
6.  Get educated about good networking and referrals. Most people believe that if they walk around and give out enough cards and talk enough about what they do, they are building credibility. Nothing could be further from the truth! There are programs being offered all the time that will improve your ability to make more money, but few people are willing to commit the time or the money to go learn more so they can earn more. I cannot tell you how many times I have been told by business professionals say they don’t read.

 Trust is the first step in the referral process, you have to slow down and build trust. Yea that’s what I said. slow down! Take the time to get to know me, what I want, how you can help me and what is important to me. When you do that, you will find out that I in return will feel better about you and want to learn more. Trust and credibility cannot be rushed, it takes time and work….oops there is that word again.

]]> http://hazelmwalker.com/are-you-a-lazy-networker-6-things-you-should-do/feed/ 0 http://hazelmwalker.com/women-are-the-most-valuable-target-market-in-the-financial-industry/ http://hazelmwalker.com/women-are-the-most-valuable-target-market-in-the-financial-industry/#comments Mon, 23 Apr 2012 14:00:15 +0000 Hazel http://hazelmwalker.com/?p=1535

Men and women invest differently, I know you are shocked by that statement right?  Probably not!  The following is from an article in the Chicago Tribune. 

In the financial services industry, the default language is male-speak. Women do not feel served. You look at the advertisements, lingo, acronyms. Even the client-engagement and retention process (sales) is a male model.

According to LearnVest.com, 87 percent of women would like to work with a financial adviser, but only 17 percent do. A big part of the reason is … women don’t meet the asset threshold to work with the advisers, so they get disenfranchised.

Several of the big companies have raised their thresholds recently, alienating even more women while they are spending their marketing dollars on the male market.

So, I went to my friend, TJ Couzens, of BrandX,  a market research firm who  researches the female market, to ask his opinion.  TJ wrote the following post in which he discusses the importance of  financial companies going after the female market more effectively.

Women control ALL of the purse strings. Women make over 68% of investment decisions. In the next decade, they will control over 2/3 of the total wealth in the U.S.

Consider this fact of high-end investing. All male investment clubs get an annual rate of return of 8% while all female investment clubs get an annual rate of return of 22%. (Source: Brand X Research, Investment Survey Analysis). Men are in it for the game while women are in it for the long haul. For men, it’s all about “me”. For women, it’s all about “we”. They invest not for their own wealth, but for the sole purpose of taking care of loved ones and friends.

In the area of retention, men change brokers about every 3 years, while women, if treated well, stay with their brokers for 10+ years (Source: Brand X Research). One of the reasons for this is men like bragging rights for great stock performance, so they will jump around if their portfolio is lagging behind their buddies. This leads to high client turnover for brokers. Women, on the other hand, invest based on her relationship with her broker. If they earn her trust and confidence, she will seek their advice and stay loyal because the relationship is valued more than bragging rights.

Another reason why all financial institutions should woo women is in the area of referrals. Men will refer their financial institution to 2.6 people on average. Women, if treated well, will refer you to 21 of her friends. This is huge and is worth billions of dollars over the long term. Right now the investment industry is doing a poor job of retaining women. According to a recent research study by Brand X Research, women only stay with their current broker 5-6 years. The cause of this is too many brokers cater to the husband and pay almost no attention to the wife.

What does this all mean? In essence, it means most financial institutions and brokers are spending marketing dollars on the wrong audience. They are sending out the wrong message. They still believe men make up most of the investment community and their marketing approach confirms this. It is male, ego driven themes based on competition and winning. Instead, they need to try to win over the women market through communicating, relationship building and mutual respect.

Companies need to realize they are losing by spending marketing dollars trying to win over male investors because it’s cheaper to do so. Men are easily persuaded, but are not loyal. You will always have a hole in your sales bucket. By marketing to women, you will spend more marketing dollars because she is harder to convince, but, once convinced, she is extremely loyal and will invest more money with you over the long-term. Remember 2.6 vs. 21 and 3 years vs. 10+ years. Who would you rather have?

If Financial Planners want more referrals they need to have a better understanding of the female market.  Changing your marketing message is not enough.

I got this article from my friend and PR Chick,  Jill Bode who used my article with a twist.  I really like it so I asked her if she would post it as my guest blogger.  If you are interviewing for a job, these are tips you might want to remember.

If you are using networking as one of the ways you look for a new job (and you should be), be sure that you aren’t leaving out 50% of the population.  You see the thing is, not everyone networks the same way.  In a recently released book Business Networking and Sex (not what you think) authors Dr. Ivan Misner, Hazel Walker and Frank DeRaffele took the topic of gender differences in networking head on.

1. Men want to know WHAT.  Men focus on establishing credibility as quickly as possible.  They like to list accomplishments and affiliations that show them in the most favorable light.  If you are a woman who is speaking to a male potential employer, take a page from the men and spend a few minutes highlighting yourself. It may feel a little uncomfortable at first, but it can help you gain credibility faster with men.

2. Women want to know WHO.  Women tend to focus on establishing visibility and this can take a little more time.  Women want to know how you are connected to other people and organizations and what things you may have in common.  As a man, this may feel a little unbusinesslike, but if you have a chance to talk about a possible job with a woman, take the time to ask her questions and try to see what connections you may both share.

3. But WHY?  The goal of networking in a gender-specific way is to use the best of both genders to help make strong connections that can aid in finding and landing your next job. So the next time you are at a networking event, try adapting your networking style to the gender of the person you are talking to and see what happens.

So if you are looking for a job the more that you understand about the person interviewing you the more likely you are to have success and maybe get the job.

It’s 4:00 p.m. and I have worked a long day, starting my day getting the family and myself out the door and on time to our respective place, now I am running this child to soccer, and that child to baseball, picking up the dry cleaning , rushing home to get the kids started on their homework for school tomorrow, do a couple of loads of laundry, put the dog out, answer the phone and pack lunches for tomorrow, when suddenly I hear, from the far side of the house, over the TV, the following statement, “Honey what’s for dinner?” I stop in my tracks and think, “What is wrong with him, it’s like having one more child in the house.”

 As a mom, wife and business owner, managing my time became extremely important. I was always seeking some sort of balance between the 3 areas of my life. Most of the time I felt like the Ring Master of a Three Ring Circus, with lots of clowns running around me out of control. I knew that networking was important for creating visibility for me and my business, but I also had commitments with the kids schools, PTA, with family members and my spouse. If I was going to a networking event I had to make sure family was cared for in my absence. If it was an evening meeting and I left the kids with Dad, I had to make sure that he had something ready to feed the kids, leave notes reminding them to get homework done and when I got home make sure that their breakfast was set out and lunch money on the table. Time permitting maybe a load of laundry before bed. It can be overwhelming and may cause many women to network less than their male counterparts.

Networking events take place everyday of the week, at many different hours, early morning meetings, lunch hour meetings and evening meetings. Finding the right time to make it all fit together can be a bit of a challenge. Here are some findings from the American Time use Survey about how men and women use their time, there are no shocking results and ladies, there is nothing here that you did not already know:

1. According to the survey, among full time workers men worked slightly longer than women an average of 8.2 hours versus 7.8 hours for women

2. Chores: On an average day, 20% of men did housework – such as cleaning or doing laundry, compared to 52% of women.

3. Meals: 37% of men did food prep or cleanup compared with 64% of women, indicating that men are more involved when it comes to eating. (Is anyone surprised here?)

Childcare: During an average weekday, women spent 1.2 hours providing physical care such a s bathing or feeding a child while men spent 23 minutes and on weekends women provided about an hour of physical care to household children while men spent about half an hour. (taken from: Battle of the Sexes www.mysalary.com )

The US Census Bureau in November 2009 states there are approximately 13.7 million single parents in the US and nearly 84% of those are single moms and 16% are fathers. This group will find that they are in need of more flexibility when it comes to the time that they are able to commit to networking. Today more than ever women are starting businesses as a way of having flexibility for their lives and their families.

The very fact that we are so busy being the Ring Master for our personal circus, it is vitally important that we make the best use of the time we have dedicated to our networking and business activities. One thing that both men and women can do to help themselves is to develop good systems around their networking activities. Spending time going deep into the network that they already have instead of running around meeting more and more new people.

So let me challenge you here ladies, and gentlemen, before you put on your best dress, gather up your business cards and head out the door to meet more new people, stop, take some time and figure out who is already in your network.   Then spend some time working on the network you have.  Take those relationships deeper before adding more.

Women do not like to talk about their accomplishments, they feel that it is bragging which is unlady like and impolite.  Ladies, there is a big difference between “bragging” and sharing your accomplishments, and the latter is important if you are going to network effectively with men.  Listen to men talk to one another when they are networking and you will hear them tell each other about what they do, who they know, what schools they have gone to, what deals they have closed, even what things they have accomplished.  Here is a comment left in our survey;

#280 When I meet with women to network and discuss business I find we spend about 90% of the time getting to know each other, we discuss family, who we are, our backgrounds , etc. then we spend about 10% of time talking about business.    When meeting with men I find we spend 10% of our time getting to know each other and 90% of our time talking about business.   Both approaches are effective, but I enjoy networking with women more.

When women hear men talking they often think they are egotistical and bragging. The reality is they are building credibility with one another, when they are duly impressed they go off and do business with each other.

 Women on the other hand speak to relate to each other, they are looking to learn more about the person, who are they, what do they have in common, do they like each other, do they want to help one another? When they feel they have a connection they go forward and build a relationship of support.

#220  In my experience, women tend to network intuitively, but they tend to focus on relationship issues.  Men tend to network by design, and they tend to focus on business issues.

#178 I find that most women who network are definitely more interested in developing a relationship and then business later.  Most men get right into the conversation of  ”so what do you do?”

 Now, put a man and a woman together at a networking event and you will find they completely miss the mark when they are communicating to one another. He is telling her all about his accomplishments while she is trying to find a way to relate, he walks a way wondering why women cannot just talk about business, and she is wondering why they have to be so egotistical! They have missed the connection.

 It is important that we learn to communicate with each other more effectively, follow the lead of the person speaking.  If they are speaking about what they have accomplished, respond in a similar fashion.  On the other hand if they are speaking in a relational manner, respond in a similar fashion. When we learn to adapt to one another we can more effectively connect and refer each other allowing us both to do more business.

I met with one of my clients yesterday and we talked about his target market, I had a conversation with a friend who runs her business and we talked about her target market.  I had a phone call with a potential referral partner  to discuss our referral strategy and we talked about our target market.

It seems that Target Market is an important subject, and one that every business should focus on clarifying.  So why does it seem so difficult, for businesses and solopreneurs to identify a target market?  Not having clarity on this topic creates a whole host of problems;

1.  You spend your marketing money using an ineffective shotgun approach that nets low value results.

2.  You find yourself networking at completely inappropriate places.  If I sell cars and I know that 65% of all new car purchasing decisions are made by women, then I am going to go network with women and other businesses who sell to women, not a room full of men.

3.  You end up having the wrong conversations with the wrong people at the wrong time.  Because you are looking for anybody who needs your services you waste a lot of time talking to everybody even when they are the wrong somebodies.

4.  You cannot develop a good referral partner and you end up with a lot of sources who are referring you low level, low value leads.  A good referral partner has the exact same target market as you do, you are focused and you have a strategy for developing referrals.

5.  You miss great opportunities because you are so busy taking care of the low value clients and customers that your high value opportunities are passed by.

10% of your clients create 80% of your income and 10% of your clients suck up 80% of your time and generate little income, why would you use shotgun approaches that only net you more of the latter?  If you focus on the top 10%, spend your time and money seeking more of them, the other 80% will just show up and you will be able to regularly clear out the bottom 10% thus freeing up your time to nurture the top 10%.

I encourage my clients to network in a variety of places based upon their target market. One suggestion I often give them is to sponsor an event then network with both the attendees and the other sponsors. My friend Jill Bode, with Designed Write PR, is my guest blogger this month. The following article is excellent information if you are looking to create quality visiblity for yourself and your company. Next time someone ask you to sponsor an event take a look at this article and decide if it is a good fit for you and your company.

The typical business is offered opportunities to sponsor various events and organizations. It can be difficult to decide if the proffered sponsorship is good investment and even harder to say “no” to a good cause, but as a businessperson, those types of decisions are paramount if you want to keep the doors open.

Here are seven ways you can identify if a sponsorship is a good fit for your company:

1) Does it put you in front of your key demographic? A sponsorship that puts you in front of a large group of potential prospects, is usually going to be the very best investment of your marketing dollars and will help you achieve that all-important visibility with your market.

2) What does your return on investment have to be in order to make the sponsorship profitable for you? If you need to set appointments with 50 people and the event only has 75 attendees, it may not be a good fit. Unless…

3) Is the event organizer willing to highly recommend your product or services to the attendees? If they are AND they have good credibility, they may help you get to your target and then some.

4) Will you be able to interact and talk to attendees during the event? On-site access is paramount if you are going to be able to create those initial impressions and start the sales process.

5) How many staff/fans/friends will you be able to bring along to the event with you as part of your sponsorship? These folks can be crucial to your success because they can say the great things about you that you could never say about yourself. The more people you can bring as part of your sponsorship, the more valuable it becomes.

6) Does the subject of the event deliver information or ideas that are useful to your company? If you get an opportunity to sell to your target market AND learn something new in the process, this a real home run for you and your business. Be sure to factor the expense of comparable training when figuring out your return on investment.

7) Will you be able to follow up with the event attendees? Is the organization willing to give you access and do you have time to reach out afterwards and convert attendees into customers? The day after the event is frequently when the profitability phase of the event begins, don’t forget to plan for it. After all profitability is the reason that you can stay in business.

Applying these seven criteria to the next sponsorship that is offered to you and your company will help you make profitable choices. And, although I may be biased, I think that the sponsorship opportunity below does a great job of meeting those seven criteria for a large number of companies, especially those who sell to women (and there must be a lot of those companies because 85 percent of all brand purchases are made by women*).

Click here to find out more about this limited sponsorship opportunity.

*figure provided courtesy of She-conomy.com

When I decided to write an article on Referral Mindset, I googled “referral mindset” and I got several pages of articles and videos from guys who talk about being in the habit of asking for referrals, getting referrals from your customers every time you sit down with them. Wowing your clients so they want to refer you. Those all seemed like strategies to me so I looked up “Mindset” by Carol Dweck and learned something completely different.

Mindsets are beliefs—beliefs about yourself and your most basic qualities. Think about your intelligence, your talents, your personality. Are these qualities simply fixed traits, carved in stone and that’s that? Or are they things you can cultivate throughout your life?

People with a fixed mindset believe that their traits are just givens. They have a certain amount of brains and talent and nothing can change that. So people in this mindset worry about their traits and how adequate they are. They have something to prove to themselves and others.

People with a growth mindset, see their qualities as things that can be developed through their dedication and effort. Sure they’re happy if they’re brainy or talented, but that’s just the starting point. They understand that no one has ever accomplished great things—not Mozart, Darwin, or Michael Jordan—without years of passionate practice and learning.

A referral mindset is the belief that you can be good at networking and the desire and willingness to learn more about referrals. We often think that people who are good at networking are just born with a networking or referral mindset, but the reality of it is this, if you want to get referrals, if you want to build a strong network, you have to be open to learning more about the process. Your referral mindset is your choice, you can let your self talk tell you that you are not good at it, or you can let your self talk encourage you to learn more and get good at it.